You don’t get to choose how they leave, but you can choose how you let go.
You used to keep me warm
But now you've made me cold
It's like I've been frozen my entire life and then, with you, the sun finally rose and warmed me down to my soul.
There are 100 thousand million stars in the galaxy and I would use every single one to wish for you.
Sometimes I wish I weren't a person
But a tree or a plant
And that everywhere you touched me a flower would bloom
So then maybe I'd still feel beautiful
Somewhere out there is a girl with long hair that falls in perfect waves over her shoulders. With eyes that could never be dulled, no matter how big her glasses. There's a girl who works hard just to get through the day without breaking. She is fragile and flawed, but her heart is pure.
Somewhere out there is a girl who broke someone's heart. It's true she never meant to and doesn't realize she did it. She goes about her day, never thinking of the person who had to pick up the pieces they trusted her with.
Somewhere out there is a girl who is no longer a girl. She is a poem. Her curves have become lines on paper. Her smile is a metaphor and her eyes are just words. Every breath she takes ...
It's unnerving to have all these feelings for you. You're basically a stranger. Maybe I don't even feel them for you, just this idea I have in my mind.
The logical side of me knows that you are not this person and that I should not crave your touch.
But my emotional side is already attached. She constantly betrays logic, even overpowers it. Emotion has molded you into what I want, need.
Emotion won't wait to know you. She's grabbed hold of a spark and gone running wild.
Logic stomps her feet in a brief fit of rage before straightening her collar and taking a deep breath. Even if she knows she'll never win, she will keep whispering that this isn't right.
Logic reminds me that I barel...
You put me through hell,
So hell I became.
I keep telling myself that I have to stop wanting you. I, at least, convinced myself not to confess my feelings.
It's not fair to you because I know there isn't an easy way for you to be a part of my future. You have too many ties to this place, and one that's far too big to sever.
My future is miles away and I won't subject myself to another hopeless long-distance relationship. And there's no way you can come with me.
I could stay, but I promised myself long ago that I would never be a Rachel Green, that I would never get off the plane, that I would never let a man keep me from my dreams.
Logically, it's hopeless to hold onto these feelings. And yet here I am, once again, shouting in...
I should not have had to lose myself just to find you.
I don't want to be your 3am thoughts, when you're lonely and just want someone to hold.
I want to be your 3pm thoughts, when you're elbow-deep in work and there's barely room left in your busy mind.
I thought I wasn't enough for you.
But I was too much.
I am an ocean and you prefer puddles.
I am a hurricane and you prefer a drizzle.
I miss the way that just thinking of you put words on paper.
I miss how easy it was to feel everything so overwhelmingly.
I miss the way your eyes inspired metaphors and your body shaped words, the way your curves became lines on paper.
I miss the way your laugh filled me with so much joy it just spilled out on sheet after sheet.
I miss the aching that the distance caused and the desire to drop everything, leave this place, and run away right into your arms.
I miss the way you were everything I wanted, needed.
But mostly I miss the way that you made me okay, made me hate myself a little bit less.
There is a song in my heart to which I've never known the words.
But you always sing along, never missing beat.
It was something so small, yet so big. It's trivial in the grand scheme of things, but enough to make me question my value. And that is something I will not give you power to do.
You will not be the one to tell me my worth, for I am the only one who can make that call. You will not be the one to destroy the years it's taken to rebuild my self esteem.
And what's worse is you don't seem to care about how you treat other people until they call you out. You can apologize a hundred times but that doesn't mean it's ever genuine.
Now you're gone, disappeared into the night, never to be heard from again. At first, it hurt. It felt like something was missing from my life. But now...well, it stil...
Some days it's as though my feelings are no longer my own. They are real, but they are not mine.
It's as though someone jammed a syringe into my chest and pressed the plunger, filling my heart with some lab-created serum.
Someone found a way to fabricate feelings, bottle them up, and force them on the unwilling.
But the serum isn't fast acting -- it's a slow burn, taking weeks, months to get to full effect.
And here I am, high on these fabricated feelings, forced upon me by some invisible entity. I'm drowning under their weight.
The side effects are strong. The happiness makes you reckless. The love makes you stupid. The joy takes your breath away. The sadness makes you hit new lows...
A special thank you for someone unexpected
To be honest, I never expected any of this. I let you into my life without putting up a fight, without building walls around my heart. Maybe that should have been my first clue, but you know what they say about hindsight.
I never expected to find a friend who I would want to talk to every second of everyday. or to find someone who could so easily turn my day around just by saying nothing more than 'hi'. Someone who could make me smile just by thinking of them.
You have helped me see myself in a new light -- one where I am flawed but not broken. You have helped me start healing a pain that has lingered for far too long. You have made me start to ...
Come lie with me tonight, you sister of the moon. Work your magic. Let your fingers dance upon my skin.
Look up at me with those big eyes that hold all the colors in the night sky. The stars look more beautiful reflected in your eyes.
Sister of the moon, come sleep with me. Steal away my nightmares, replace them with dreams of you. Haunt my every thought.
Come quick, for I know you must go before the first light of morning. But, oh, how I wish you could stay. Just this once.
Please return to me, when the sun fades and the stars begin to shine. won't you love me again, sister of the moon?
You didn't lose me.
You pushed me away until I couldn't find a way back to you.
I am not looking for my other half.
My other half does not exist.
I am a whole.
I complete myself.
You have so easily become a safe place for my tired heart to rest.
I understand your demons in a way only the devil can.
For him, one last time.
Every year, it's my least favorite day. It's your birthday, and it's the last time I spoke to you in person.
This year, it was just another day. I went about my business and didn't even notice. It took two days to realize that it had come and gone.
That realization was a good feeling because I felt as though maybe I was finally over you, over us, over everything that happened.
But as I did the math, I realized it's been ten years - an entire decade. It's feels like a lifetime ago.
What's changed? For you, everything. For me, nothing. That's what made this have a whole new kind of hurt.
You're married with a good job and a great life. Karma clearly didn't do ...
I don't believe in love at first sight, but you're the closest I've ever come to it.
I remember the way my heart beat just a little out of rhythm and I couldn't help but stare.
The way your hair fell over your shoulders and how your eyes squint when you smile. You smile so much.
Then you opened your mouth and I hung on every word that came out. Each one with a perfectly thought out purpose.
You were like a magnet pulling me in and I didn't put up a fight.
Life pulled us apart and put all this distance between us. But we haven't let that stop us, have we?
Still now, when your name pops up on my phone, I can't help but bite my lip as it curls into a smile. I'll take what I can get. I...
I can no longer remember the last words we spoke.
And that, my darling, is what I call freedom.
I want nothing more
Than to open myself up to you,
To offer you what's in my heart,
What I've been holding back.
But it's too soon.
My heart is raw, barely healed.
I want to know its not just
The loneliness she left me with.
Because I can't treat you
The way she treated me.
You are too kind, too sweet
To be hurt like that.
For her; for someone new.
I'm going mad as I lie awake at night with only you on my mind. Closing my eyes, I picture you next to me. I reach out, pull you close and hold you tight. My hands caress soft skin. I bury my face in the crook of your neck and breath in your scent - it surrounds me and suddenly you're the only thing that exists.
Our lips brush but do not meet; we let the temptation build. My hands shake and my hearts feels like a jackhammer. It's almost too much. But then your lips are pressed against mine and the only thing I can think is 'finally'.
When we part and you look up at me. I can't help but wonder if you've felt this way as long as I have. It doesn't matter; you feel...