Explore
Sign Up
Login

Sankar

PO# 589937
India
India
Nothing here, really...
December 3, 2019
 

   So how does it feel, to dump it all on me and make a run for it. I've never really hated anyone, and I probably wouldn't hate anyone either. I've always let go of things, as long as it's on me, I wouldn't give much of a damn. But if you involve the people I love and care about, I'll never forgive you. That's always how I've been. You can wreck me, leave me broken or heartbroken, but I'll still never hate you for it. I've never been the kind to hold out that much of a grudge.

   Yet, people think I'll hate them. Yet, people and like they've never known me. It's like I've never existed for anyone. It's like people see me, they talk to me, for days and nights, for weeks and months & still k...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
1
0
December 1, 2019
 

I can't put this out,
The flames of flaws,
That engulf me now,
Chipping in soft,
With some guilty conscience

The soul is weighed down,
With thoughts haywire,
Who do I approach,
To flush it all,
In a full swing

Oh, someone save my soul,
Someone hear my plea,
Lead me out,
Lend me an ear,
Oh, someone out there.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
November 30, 2019
 

  I still seek answers. If only I had time to figure things out better, with a little bit of space. If only I had time to analyze things and sort myself out.

  What do I need? What will I get?

Oh man, somebody shoot me!! Stuck in between the devil and the sea, ain't I? No amount of advice is going to save me or calm me down right now. For what I need the most now is, clarity and nothing else & what I have is, anything but.

   How do you people even cope with the pressure of marriage anyway. Lol, when you are so against the whole stupid concept of arranged marriage and your parents are like, we will find for you xd. I can't believe that, we are in this 21st century and still being subject ...

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
November 30, 2019
 

I'm in a state of fix,
Trying to find a way,
Past all these obstacles,
Popping up day after day,
Hindering the slow progress,
That life used to offer,
In bits and pieces,
With no way to vent,
All the mist that clouds,
The very sense of judgment,
Be it right or wrong

I've lost it all,
In this restlessness,
Day and night,
Engulfing all thoughts,
Pressed hard by stress,
From all sides,
To choose from them all,
What would eventually be,
My right or wrong.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
1
0
November 29, 2019
 

     It is always pain that makes me write. It is always pain that fills me up with abundance of emotions. It is when I can no longer take it, that I take up this virtual pen and keep spilling it all out.

  I'm overwhelmed with feelings. I don't know what I feel, or what to feel even. I just feel pitiful about my own life. I haven't quite reached anywhere, that I've dreamt of. I've not quite made it there, yet. Will I ever be able be someone who's dependable and reliable to anyone at all.

  I've given up all hope, by now. That I can get what I want, since nobody is actually on the path that I chose to tread. If only, I could set things right and have a clearer vision of what I need and see...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
4
0
November 29, 2019
 

    Today, all I want to do is find a place to sit in peace, with nobody watching, nobody to disturb & cry my heart out silently.

   I'm feeling guilty and sorry for all the people who have ever gotten involved with me in some way or the other. I can't really make out, what has become of me. I'm questioning my very existence and purpose of life.

   Why do I stand here, at these crossroads, with no answer to any of the questions. What do I want? What do I need? What do I deserve actually? If only I could pick, I would have. But fate may have something in store for me, but if it's not what I want, what's the whole point of trying so hard?

  What do you live for? Is it love? Is it food? Is it...

RESPECT
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
8
0
November 29, 2019
 

I'm no saint,
I'm no good,
Please forgive me,
For not being there,
Though I never knew,
What you'd have to face,
In this life of uncertainty,
Wishing for calm,
The twists and turns,
Take you places unexpected,
In a life so meek,
Rendering you helpless,
The cries for aid,
Fall to deaf ears,
You're on your own,
Till world's end...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
November 29, 2019
 

All this time, I was running away. Running away from people, running away from responsibilities, running away from literally everything. I never wanted to grow up, I never wanted to grow up. Although time has passed, adding numbers to the stat called age, I doubt if I've ever really aged, at least mentally.

   I dunno what my status, am I committed or am I single, it's like somewhere in between, with a thread that holds me, from doing anything in any direction. What exactly am I doing with my life? I want to run away from all this shit. I don't want anyone to be even connected to me.

   This time when I went home, I was bugged by parents with the obvious time related question of marriage. ...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
November 28, 2019
 

The only thing I've learnt, over the past few years is that, I've to forgive and let go of things that aren't exactly in my control. People make mistakes all the time, and that's what makes us human.

  I can't ever say that, I've never ever made any mistakes of any sort. So how can I ever judge people without ever knowing the circumstances under which they've made their mistakes. Maybe they were out of options, maybe they felt it was necessary, or maybe they were just plain stupid. Whatever the reason, what's done is done. And if the damage isn't as substantial as it may have felt, maybe you can let it be and let it go.

We are only human, living life once. Why keep grudges, which amount to...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
5
0
November 19, 2019
 

It was a dark night,
And I was again a stranger,
I can't believe that,
I've been left starnded again,
Let the rain come down,
And wash away my tears,
I've been crying all night long,
I stopped seeing the light,
That used to be guiding me along,
A new day may not come,
I can't believe I'm here,
After waiting for so long,
Trying to be so strong,
Through good and bad times,
Now it's probably too late,
The feelings you've had are fading,
While I stay here,
Wilting away like a flower,
A new day has come,
Take your step ahead.

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
1
0
October 19, 2019
 

So....that's it? That's how you want it to end? All this time, for nothing? Maybe  that would have been more apt, if you were asking this after two years, or at least that's what you'd have been repeatedly playing inside your mind on repeat for the past few weeks.

  I saw this coming. I actually did, seeing the pressure you're in, seeing how you were realizing things, a lot more recently. It's actually alright though, cause there's nothing to blame you for. After all, we are both old, and reaching certain ages where family expects this and that to happen. I know for a fact that, I've no magic tricks up my sleeve to make your wishes come true in an instant. I was willing to go to different l...

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
September 30, 2019
 

Wailing in silence,
Mourning for deeds,
Those that led to demise,
Of thy very self,
After each dip,
In the lake of fire,
Oblivious to the consequences,
By lack of awareness,
Or lack of interest

Leading to a spiral,
Of unending pain,
That slowly consumes,
Every ounce of your life,
Slower than a snail,
Till you start begging,
To be euthanized.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
September 30, 2019
 

Have you been in love? Do you know what it feels like, when it hurts you from the inside, not because of someone, but cause of your own shortcomings. I would really like to apologise for that.

  I used to feel good about myself before, no matter what happened and how lonely I used to be, no matter how useless I felt, at least I used to feel that, I could be really good to people. But I guess I couldn't have been any more wrong.

I can't even sustain a relationship. I've probably felt too much emotions and that I'll be someone who never leaves anyone behind. No matter what ever happens. At least, I used to try to cling on to people as long as I could, till they cut me off by force.

Who am ...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
4
0
September 16, 2019
 

Nobody has the time,
To stop and take a breath,
Nobody has the time,
To stop and observe,
All the things happening around

Patience is a virtue they say,
A lost one at that,
Those who seek a bit more,
Get lesser and lesser,
While those who don't need it,
Have it aplenty to waste

If only people would look around,
If only people would try to grasp,
How time is essential for everything,
How time makes and breaks dreams,
Maybe, just maybe,
The world would be a better place.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
4
0
September 15, 2019
 

So many questions,
So many repetitions,
Yet you'll end up,
Back in square one,
With no concrete answer,
To all questions that pop up,
While you are busy trying,
To make sense of all things,
Natural and unnatural

Someone save me too,
From this endless tradition,
Laid with traps that creep,
Deeper than all you expect,
Sinking per day,
Into depths unexplored,
Gasping for breath,
Till it all ends.

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
September 15, 2019
 

In all honesty, I don't know where I or my feelings stand. But for a fact, it's skin deep, dipped in nothing but guilt. I'm no longer sure, what I seek or the damage I can cause.

I am truly sorry to everyone for the pain I bring along with me, dragging along as you try to stick around. Alas, I have lost vision of what's right or wrong. I'm blinded by a false sense of justice & doing what is right. After all, right & wrong are subjective and what's yours may not be mine.

Maybe I just give up too easily. Maybe I just ignore all the things I said I'll do. I'm no longer who I was or who I try hard pretending to be. I'm just a wretched soul, caught up in a world of mess, that I just keep justif...

SUPPORT AND SAVE US!
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
September 10, 2019
 

I find it really hard to stay composed and focused to write something, on something. My mind is probably too fickle as it goes astray with overlapping thoughts that never really have a proper bond.
The other day I had a workshop, to help us all get better, or learn something new and useful in life. He was a really good speaker & hit a few nerves along the course of the day.. I don't remember most of it, but a few things were kinda cool. He sure took us on a roller coaster of emotions. Fear, joy and sadness, all of them, one after the other. I'll say one line, whether it makes sense to you or not, depends on what you make of it. What you need is not motivation, but inspiration.

  All change,...

NEVER FORGET
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
August 11, 2019
Bengaluru, India

I shouldn't feel guilty, should I? But I do, it was only one thing at first and then it magnified exponentially. I shall note this down, cause I'll probably forget anyway. But cause someone got really hurt, and will never forget it, I guess it needs to remain somewhere, where I can keep looking back to, to feel guilty all over again.

  So the thing is. I was out anyway on a Saturday. I slept a lot or I did other stuff, like cutting nails and other stuff & had a pretty good, long bath. N I was probably supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I got super late anyways & so that plan got cancelled. But I had to go to the city to pick up phone from my friend & so I went. It was cloudy all day, ...

WHITE CLOCK
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
August 11, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Knowingly or unknowingly,
I hurt all who care,
In ways I can't comprehend,
Through words I blurt blatantly

Like a river,
It flows through your soul,
Pierecing like a blade,
Sharper than any you've felt

The intention so pure,
The effect so wrong,
Hurt in misdirection,
A soul weeps again

The fingers always point,
At my nonchalant face,
With or without reason,
I'll be held for treason.

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
4
0
July 29, 2019
Bengaluru, India

I no longer understand myself,
I no longer feel worthy,
Begging for love,
That I barely ever deserved,
Clinging on like a leech,
That'll never let go,
With withering hopes,
Of a happily ever after,
With you by my side,
Happy as you once were,
Looking back to those summer nights,
Embracing you like my own,
With a never ending eternity,
Staring from across the horizon,
Where you and I will be,
Entwinted in love,
Through thick and thin.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
6
0
July 29, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Fighting in thy name,
Fighting for your love,
Fighting for attention,
Fighting for anything

We are broken bodies,
Trying to find a cure,
We are broken souls,
That relive the past

Fighting for thy self,
Fighting for the joy,
Fighting for little things,
Fighting for everything

We are split by experience,
Joined by little sparks,
Fighting for something,
We barely could sense anymore.

Thumb_signature_1564421100927
DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
July 28, 2019
Bengaluru, India

The words you've said,
Without uttering to my face,
Reflected the feelings inside,
That you've suppressed for long,
A reason to cling on,
Dipped in fake words and feelings,
Not letting you go,
When you've decided to let go

Oh! how he could stop,
Every time I try to snip,
From a relationship so toxic,
Oh how he's available always,
When he feels it convenient,
But not when I need,
I've had enough of him,
Love just ain't enough.

LET IT GO. MOVE ON
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
4
0
July 28, 2019
Bengaluru, India

Wonder when I wrote something last. Wonder when I felt so numb, not the kind I've been used to, in pain of love dipped in misery. Getting hurt is common in any kind of relationship. And I always have believed that, you can only truly me yourself & express yourselves to the ones you love & love you back. Friends may not get you, friends may not know all the various sides of you, the good, the bad and the ugly. You're different to all your friends, you simply can't be same to people, cause they aren't the same. People react differently to different types of things, in various ways. Nobody wants to hurt anyone with anything. You'll never intentionally hurt anyone, unless it's some vengeful act ...

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
2
0
May 7, 2019
Nedumangad, India

When the sunshine falls down,
I could be your dark Knight,
Drifting through the shadows,
Hunting down the fireflies,
I could be the champion,
Fighting for your last hope.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
4
0
April 17, 2019
Nedumangad, India

The petals fall off,
With the fading fragrance,
Along the moments,
That never return,
Resetting the deadlock,
With freshest of starts,
As newness blooms,
Over ageing wine,
To enchnant the spirits,
Once broken for worst,
With spells that bind,
The cracks and pores,
To fit in perfect,
A tale untold.

MAKE IDEAS HAPPEN
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
9
0
March 3, 2019
Nedumangad, India

It ain't uncommon to get lost in the wind, with the flow of thoughts leading to chaos and confusion. I've lived in constant fear, of being let down and of being dispensable. I've experienced it over and over, getting discarded like an empty bottle, that's served its purpose and now weighs down as extra baggage. It's okay to worry, but how can you misread the situation and assume stuff, when you don't know anything at all. I write when I'm full, with no outlet, where I can't say anything or do anything at all. It makes no sense, really. Whenever I used to write negative stuff, it's probably just letting it go, since nobody ever has the time for it and I'm not calling for anyone's attention, yo...

MAKE YOUR MARK
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
5
0
January 10, 2019
Nedumangad, India

I will always wonder,
If I should have waited,
But after a year of waiting,
I had to let go,
It was getting really lonely and cold,
And I could feel myself,
Changing for the worst,
Losing faith in love itself,
Unwilling to commit to anyone,
Inspite of mutual feelings,
Cause it never felt right,
Or my intuition was scared,
That I'll be left behind,
Once again,
And so it turned out,
Shattered and broken,
Yet not out of the unexpected,
I was again left for dead,
Only to be found by someone,
Who'd make the darkness go away

ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
December 31, 2018
Nedumangad, India

  It all started with a small plan. To see someone, to go abroad, to buy hot wheels & most of all, to be free.

  I'd remember last year, it was dry, but I got at least a wish on my birthday. This year, I didn't really get even that, but it was far better. I really did plan it that way, that I wouldn't be at home on my birthday. Not like there was gonna be anything special happening if I was there, n not like anything would happen if I wasn't there. Yet I just wanted to be away, and it turned out to be one where pretty much nobody wished, lol maybe because my phone couldn't be reached via network, but still, whatever.

  All things that led to this, was probably worth it. So 2018, even thoug...

2019
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
0
0
December 25, 2018
Nedumangad, India

In silent nights and darkest nights,
I've been suffering far too long,
For well over a year,
The last best day being,
Nothing more than a faint spark

Here I am now,
Rebuilding and rewriting memories,
With fresh hope and expectations,
With a sense of love,
That may finally outlast me,
Against the ever present tides,
Constantly knocking me down

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0
December 17, 2018
Nedumangad, India

The sparks were fading,
The lights were dimmer,
The hopes extinguished,
No more light at the end,
No more walking towards hope

And then you came along,
Reigniting that hopeless blaze,
Adding colors to the faded frames,
Instilling renewed faith,
To carry me along this abandoned path,
One last time.

CHRISTMAS FLOWERS
Thumb_1466444799
PO#589937
3
0