|life isn't what we see it as...ups nd downs is wad we shouldn't be afraid of...|
There was a girl I once knew..
She had felt more pain and sorrows as have anyone I have seen..
She accepted the darkness and solitude as it was nothing more than a turn of page in her life..
She smiled all through her days and cried all through the nights..
She was tough, wasn't she?
I did she all the people she loved.. Ultimately leave her..
I did watch people bullying her..
I did watch her living the same days over and over again...
I did just watch..watch as she went through hell..watched as the nights tormented her..days battled her..crippling her..
Yet I just watched!
Starting at the sun
A love that hurts so much
I look into your eyes
I see my life deafning
I found you
Found you in the dark.
See your heart is mine.
Honestly there are a lot of people who I called friends..
But when I actually have to lean on to someone
You, my dear novel always come in my mind.
I am happy to go to far away lands of fantasy with you..
You have always taken me on adventourous rides.
Before snapping back to reality.
Love from your dearest reader,
Why am I told to be good in society
Isn't the society we live in a hypocrite?..
Dsnt it tell to live your life this minute and criticise about it the next minute?
Why don't people stop speaking and advising others when they have their own life screwed up? Maybe a bit of listening would rather allow to learn something.
Why are men not ok with women taking the lead? Arnt they the same ones talking about women empowerment?
Why do people have a habit of looking at something from only one perspective? ..won't the knowledge increase if the mind is opened up a bit more.?
Why is the society to decide what is right and wrong for me.?
Why am I not allowed to speak freely as I want as long as I m speak...
What really was the point , she thought.
Parking misery on the top of improbality
did not seem like a viable long term
She instead went to bed with a reasonable
assurance that tommorow would not be
any better than today.
Or maybe she always knew that there was
no better tommorow.
I have come till here ..
Damaged , disturbed, shattered..
Crushed by the heaviness of the art you have created,
To the past , I resign and wish to rewind the time..
As I have witnessed all the deceptive souls...
To the living momentum of creativity corrupted by those.
The breathing gets heavy...
Tears weldge up...wanting to be out..
But... something in me restrained me..
An ugly face in the mirror..
The dripping of blood...the cut was indeed too deep..
Hellucinations...and choking up...
A friendly face ..would be better...
No!..who would give a damn!..
The lights became unbearably harsh...turn it off!
The darkness..came for help..
The ugly face went back to the mirror again...
Stared...long..but felt at ease... looking at the blackness throughout...
So it's..true...being an alien in your own skin...does feel like this...
I stare deep into the eyes..
Dark...staring..back at me..
I couldn't move .. transfixed by his gaze..
He merged the distance between us..
as my heart started beating faster..
Was this the end...or just the beginning..
My eyes gave away as I felt
the blood gush out of my body......
To the eternity of darkness...
I was there when in that time..
When the stories happened..
I was also there in that time....
When..the tragedy happened..
Don't you think my dear love..
Life can teach you many things .
The compability of companionship...
Realization of not feeling too much..
Compassion, humanity..does only exsist...
The rose becomes difficult to pluck because of it's thorns ..
But don't you love it enough already?..
I wonder how I make myself
understand something and let
the feelings get in the way...
Stuck between figuring out
what I am ....
And what I want to be...
".............somehow she knew...
However hard she tried...
One can never expect gold
from a person who is mining
The stars twinkeld bright in the night sky...
The words failed to leave my mouth..
You knew..I was obessed...with the dark energy that you shared. ..
The wind called on me..as I stood there...gazing at you...
All the sound gone numb behind me..
The rays that came from your eyes...As you lift your gaze at me...
Tried hard ...enough to look normal..
But i knew ..my eyes gave me away...
As I cringe at the rough and heavy aroma approach me..
I knew it was you...always you........
I am standing before you.
With a naked soul..
Alluring you like a damsel
Why don't you see the the blood
As I cut deep into the skin to lay
it out before you
A touch with what you'll feel..
Beats bounce off my body ..along
with your rhythm..
Rhythm of us as we ride along to an
eternity of love ..
"Tell me it was hard for you to pull away from me..
Look me in the eye..and be honest how you have craved for me deep down..
Tell me that I was not wrong when I felt the current as our eyes met..
I will never come back as promised but I need to hear the truth.
The truth about some bad parts of you...drawn to me..."
"...If you promise to leave and never come back..then..
Yes!...yes I'll be honest with you about what I feel......."
One good thing about not making friends..people don't keep expectations from you..
When you know someone very well they start taking you for granted..
They start treating you as they want you to be ..not as who you are..
Then if you don't keep up to their expectations..either they leave you ..or they humiliate and leave you ..
The road leads to just one way..dats away from you...
So isn't it better...to always walk alone...
Whoever will want to stay will stay .. whoever will want to leave will leave..
It's much better than changing yourself for someone who isn't worth your time..
You will know how to tame her...
But u'll never know how to respect
If she is gone ..know that she left
you because she was way more
independent for you to handle..
Remember..she was in search of love
and respect ..
And if you couldn't give her that..
You were never worth her time..
She wished she knew what to expect of her..
That mind is a bucket full of thoughts..
Only if she knew what to tell..
Maybe she wanted to tell ..but she believed ...she knew the answers ..
Was anything worth it..??.
Yet she did want to tell..but her heart eventually gave up..
She knew the reality about herself...
She knew...the suffering...the love...the life...
Maybe...she knew...knew a little more ....or..
Knew it all...
"After all these time....."
I wish I knew the feeling of
" always"..before I lost him forever..
I wish I could turn back time...and do things that would mean something..
I wish...my life would have no "if"s...
I wish...and I just wish........
"life will give you a second
He always said.....
Now I wish I would listen
to him ..and would have done
What is it??
Is it..that my personality isn't feminine..
Is it .that I don't go out much ..is it that I don't party around and keep meeting people ...
Or is it..that I don't wear scanty clothes...
Or is it ..I don't have 'fun'...or have a social life...don't have good pictures to put on social sites tagging my whereabouts..
What is it.??..what is it. ..that makes me...less of a kinda person to be around ..??..
....anger in my mind.
heaviness in my heart.
and a smile on my face.
I laughed out hard..as I felt my
world crashing down around me..
".....and you thought
I was never in it"
I smiled to myself as I saw him
He has an aura..
Strong enough to make the
bath go cold around me..
Loving you was pure. ..
The awkwardness we felt....
The touch we shared...
The looks you gave..to take my heart away...
I know not about the life you are living..
But I want you to know...that however hard Anything might get. .
The acceptance of love will always be embraced by me...
Happy Valentine's day....!!!
What is love??..
It is a vague expression of affection..
People enjoy more of the physical projection of it...than the real one...
It basically brings more sadness than happiness..
You can't just fall out of love ..
Priorities just change..people like me tend to choose depression and loneliness more than being in love...because they don't believe in it...because they were never been loved..from the persons they wanted to..
They are always the person who is misunderstood..judged. And spoken about..
There can come times and phases of life...where people can be confused about many things in life...because unlike you..
They have many responsibilities to fulfill rather than only run a...
Don't you think why destiny made us meet ?
You were the odd one out to be seen..
The feeling that you get always that someone was there was always me..
The time that we spend, the chats that we shared ..
The wierdness that we felt...
The stares we gave..
The smiles I got ..the closeness I felt...
There was definitely something..
Then why do you think destiny made us meet!
The teenager in me stopped right there ..when she saw you...
She expected you to look at her and give that sweet smile you always gave...
You didn't ...she looked ..you still didn't ..she yet looked..waited...
Upset.. distressed..she made me..move my feet...and walk away...
Yet...she did look back...hoping the gaze might..just shift up a bit..
Turned and walked...I smiled ..to myself..
You knew..dint you...yet you chose...not to...
I felt alone..yet at peace ...
Nothing lasts forever...does it?
It was a daily hustle bustle life I was living..
When you entered..with the weakest smile I have ever seen on your face..
It was the happiest day because I saw your face again..
You were broken...I really wanted to make you better...
It broke me more to see you like that..
You always talked of leaving me..
And you really left one day..I never wanted you more to stay..
I still hear your crooked broken voice..and heart still breaks...
I know I feel too much...
But ..I really wanted you to stay ...a little while longer..........