He looked back from the rear view mirror. He loved everything he had accomplished but looking forward seemed more rewarding.
I never quite understood his method of life. I did see his hunger and thirst for adventure. He was constantly creating something from nothing. He kept his life full and never showed his pain if any. His smile was his signature. He was a mentor underneath it all.
Sometimes in life, we never realize how magical people are until they are gone.
Take the time to enjoy those around you who bring you curiosity and joy. Those who bring teachings to you. It’s the live ones who are living.
Never get lost in the crowd to only follow but to lead. The heart is our powerhous...
I’m dying slowly and I know it. I’m almost ashamed to admit it. But it’s the truth. Death was at my door and took a fellow traveler I knew so very well. Now I’m at the door of death asking to let me in. I feel my body slipping into paralysis. I’m mentally breaking down. I lost my passion to see. The love that once lived in my heart has turned black and has harden up. I walk beneath the ground where my shadow roams. I dont recognize who I am among the light so I travel with the darkness. I’m losing all gains of what the universe has put to the side for me. Just because coping is something I can’t seem to get a grip on.
I know I’m not suppose to dwell on the what was. My spirit within me is ...
Our last goodbyes
It wasn’t easy but she needed to release her last words to him before sending him off. She kept telling herself she couldn’t believe this was happening. Who attends their own child’s funeral! She was 40 pounds under and all she could see was him in the background. She was engulfed in mourning that she couldn’t hold up her end of the bargain to raising his siblings. She kept walking up to the casket like he was going to get up and say, “April Fools.”
She decided to kneel on the bench. She placed her hands on his and stared at his eye lids that were glued shut. She would no longer get to see his dreams or passions through his vision. She bowed her head and cried hysterically...
The pain cuts deep no matter how one sees it. You have to be there in order to feel it. A part of my soul was embedded into this child that no longer bares life.
So naturally my life will always be unbalanced.
It's the decisions in life that's going to get you closer to your purpose. Not to become better than another person but to truly find who you are among the billion people on this earth.
It's the whole destination , that place of love and stability. My son had mentioned “destination doesn't make you happy, it's the journey that makes you happy".
Believe it or not, there is some truth to that. I enjoyed my journey up until now, the struggles were real. Me and my kids look back at how far we came and laughed at how we made it through the dark with just barely a light to shine.
So why is fear behind so many of our decisions! One of many reasons of fear is the thought of f...
“Have you seen my soul?”
She has went missing and she has gone mad crazy. I lost her 5 years ago. Since then I haven’t heard anything from her. She refuses to call upon me for help. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning. I couldn’t help but see the windows to my eyes were closed off. My eyes were pitch black. I could see the emptiness. My skin tone was pale. I have no physical strength left to move any of my joints in my body. It was a struggle to get out of bed nevertheless to shed a tear. The color of my aura has completely faded. I have no signs of life left in me.
My mental breakdown took a nasty turn for the worse. I took an old lipstick I used to wear and ...
Before releasing her last breathe into the air. She decided to see her reflection one more time in the mirror. That mirror represented everything she despised about herself. She was a day dreamer not a realist. There was a phrase from the old age I believe it went something like this, “swimming against the tide”. She saw herself drifting along the waves but opposite from the tide.
She sat one time with a woman who read her cards. Sipped from a warm cup of tea. Her hands sweated profusely and her thoughts were there creating a monster. She didn’t want to hear the truth since she knew the truth. From here on out, She gave it that one last shot before letting go. She sat ...
My heart chips away more and more as the days pass on.
She feels her soul lose its elasticity with the universe. She’s losing all grip with reality. She’s no longer physically holding up.
She seems to be circling the same area over and over. It’s an abandoned area. No signs of life only past memories. She only feels one person who she can’t see yet that person sees her. No way of neither one of them communicating with one another. A line neither can cross. She walks up to the division between the two worlds. She closes her eyes and places both hands against it. Praying if he so happens to be there, he would place his hands there to. Just maybe she could feel his connection. She stands the...
She expected something and got nothing. Expectations are disappointments and I tried to tell her that but she was lost in her own world.
She walked around with her billion of thoughts and her ego that played with her head. She didn't understand that ego was against her. The ego wanted to see her fall apart. I tried to help her but getting through was impossible. She was two complete people in one body or was it all the stress that was caused by the world.
She wanted so much for herself. She was locked into something that she couldn't get out of. She reached out to me a couple times, but I couldn't get through the wall she built. I tried to break through that wall more than once but da...
My son (Stark)...
He was 18 years old at the time. An amazing, loving, intelligent, extremely funny (he got that from me) lol, attentive, caring, and always a busy body.
He had a soul that was filled with so much love to give.
He graduated high school, on his way to college. Started his freshman semester at a University. He joined a great fraternity. He was on his way to greatness and I was beyond proud. I did everything right that a parent should do to carry their child along the way to becoming successful.
At least I thought so.
Until the day I received a call on January 17, 2014 at 1:35p. A call that was a start to sleepless nights, no eating habits, and the separation f...
No need to rush. I truly believe there is no such thing as time.
What we need to do is cherish the moment. Close your eyes.
Take that deep breath in of love and pure bliss. Then release out all that
which no longer serves you.
Don't you see, we are here!
Somewhere somehow we lost one another along the way. We started from a place of curiosity to a place of nothingness. She was constantly questioning herself and he was in his own little world.
He never seen a woman warrior in action. He was a character in his own imagination and too busy to feel anything. They were inseparable yet at times far apart.
She saw the stars in him and he saw the world in her.
Never give up on fate. Life is busy and we all need someone. See what can be fine tuned and run with it.
You are a part of someone who left behind their dreams. Be the traveler you wished to see in someone else. Allow all the pain to pour out through your pores and release all the emotions that had been holding you back. Feel your heart that beats for life. Close your eyes and open your mind to endless love.
Never allow yourself to become comfortable, it’s a set up.
Be the person you wished to see when you were a child. Imagine, create, then act on it. Travel with grace and follow the footsteps of your dreams.
I’m sorry for your loss! Powerful words that express such emotions when said as comfort.
I sat and start glancing over all the cards people wrote. Why must we go through a situation that is never planned yet we plan for everyday life.
I can close my eyes and still see him. I see him as a soul who reached out to save me from my own darkness. He was never afraid.
After him leaving us, our world appears to be filled with gloomy clouds and endless days of isolation. We all have our own way of holding up. A fake smile, laughter to keep us from crumbling and hidden tears left behind in the car.
If heaven could open up so we could see him again. I’d be the first one to never return.
Time doesn't seem to stop in this unreality I live in. I try to hold on. The path isn’t clear and there seems to be storms heading my way. Dark storms with forceful winds. They appear to be taking out everyone and everything. How do I get past it without having to open my eyes? I’ve battled worse before and came out with a few scars.
I recognize the tricks my ego is playing. It tells me this isn't for me. I'm not made for this. It is so powerful and I stand there in the middle of the chaos. I refuse to open my eyes. For if I do, I may see the reality I choose not to accept.
No distractions from the outside world, it's merely a wondering soul searching for that someone who is no longer h...
Not everyone knows her story or knows who she is. She bleeds like everyone else. She understands there is a purpose for her mission. But from her experiences she can say she is beyond repair. She is barely holding up some days.
She walks and talks like she is ok but deep down inside she sometimes wishes to take her last breath.
She comprehends she was a creation from the heavens and her journey would be filled with teachings. Having said that, she is exhausted. Her mind seems to diminish her thoughts of hope bit by bit.
Others will never understand what losing the most important part of her life felt like. It is to the point where she loses sleep, eating habits all over the place, her ...
You will meet so many travelers on your journey. But there will only be a few that were meant to ride this journey out with you. Once there presence is gone, life becomes a mystery. A mystery full of questions.
Stops are missed on the journey simply because every moment that was created, there was a part of them left behind. Things never get easier. Words start to fade, life becomes a blur, and your soul is stuck in the past. Do I miss someone who picked up after my every disaster? Of course, always.
He never lets me forget him. The signs are in every foot step I make.
We said we would be there always for one another. Unfortunately we also knew neither one of us would last forever.
I said goodbye thinking what a great opportunity this was for you. You said your goodbye thinking road trip. But neither one of us knew your goodbye would forever hold a memory in my mind for as long as I live. I lit a lantern for you. I wrote a message on the outside of it and released it into the sky. It was essential to let the whole world know I lost a very special person like you. I stood there waiting for the lantern to reach so high that it appeared to be just another star in the sky. Because I always saw you as a star in my eyes. I los...
The ground we walk on is meant to show us every fear we need to conquer while we travel this road.
To have good things happen constantly wouldn’t be good for our soul. Our soul would never get the opportunity to deeply feel emotions as a human being.
We need devastating experiences to bring out the appreciation and unconditional love to the surface.
We are souls traveling in a protected vessel to explore. Our soul is here to crumble and at the same time to find the hidden secret we all possess within.
We need to tread through the darkness to get to the field of bright sunlight.
Pack lightly on your travel and don’t allow someone’s energy to dim yours.
She can’t see herself like she used to. The world has finally brought her to her knees. She is at the mercy of the world. She has been pulled in so many directions and she has yet to know where she truly belongs.
The signs are hidden in invisible ink and she has absolutely no clue how to get back to where she was supposed to be heading towards.
She thought she knew but in her mind, she knows nothing. She isn’t on anyone’s level and she is exhausted from the trip.
She is riding the waves, hoping the wave throws her under where she can finally release her last breath. Release the soul from this body that no longer needs her so she can finally Rest In Peace.
No one really knows the emotions you go through. A smile can be expressed however your mind can be at the gates of heaven pleading to get in. Emotionally you are broken down and nothing appears to make sense.
The emotion I feel for him dying and never sending a message to warn me has created madness in my head.
The physical world doesn’t excite me anymore. They say I need to let him go but really I want to cut the cords and let myself go.
Life is a struggle...
There’s an old tale about how to get time to stop for you. He was always intrigued by it.
Sara seemed to be getting worse as each day went by. She went from being mobile to lounging in bed days at a time. Sara’s energy was weakening and all he could do was make sure to keep her comfortable. He hated the fact comfortable meant stabilizing her to one room of the house. Sara was no longer able to enjoy the simple things she enjoyed. Dancing, planting flowers in the garden, painting in the garage, cooking, etc...
The days just made her more and more confused. He knew he had to do something. He didn’t want to make her last experience to be filled with denial and sadness. Sara was expe...
He was sent down to calm the storms I was placed in the middle of. He heard my cries. He saw my many sleepless nights. He knew I wasn’t made for this life. Therefore, he waited by my side until the right person came along.
I thank God everyday for that soul stumbling on my path. That person was the greatest thing that could’ve ever happened to me.
Someone is always watching over you from above.
She was never fond of holding hands. She always felt it was old school up until the day she met her future love.
He proved to her that holding hands was not only to show she is the love of his life. But to have her experience the strong love connection that ran from his heart to hers. So now she is the one to grab his hand first.
Who can resist the power of the vibration of two hearts beating at once.
Such a powerful word. The word no one chooses to speak of. It’s the dirty little secret that tends to never be revealed. The secret she holds oh so tight. She is lost among the wild. She claims to be someone she isn’t. She never wished to be under these circumstances but it’s to late. She’s always thinking of ways to hang herself from the same rope her mother used. But what good would that do to succeed and to have another death embedded in the family history.
Family history!!! Smh. There
was never really a family to begin with. She says family because she shared the last name. Last name full of shame and no substance. She never knew who she was until she dragged hersel...
He was a soul who struggled to adapt to the world. He knew he was better than this world. The temptations tried every attempt to suck him in but he was no match for the darkness. But in the end he gave in and asked to be sent back to heaven. He no longer wished to be a part of this world. He had enough and his soul was exhausted.
Some people aren’t meant to be with us forever. Therefore, enjoy life with those who are around you. Create memories!!!
You leaving opened a lot of doors and left room for a tremendous amount of changes.
There were babies being born, people moving out, jobs being lost, classes being missed, drifting souls, relationships and friendships destroyed, student graduates, student drop outs, marriage ceremonies, family separations, neglected faith, and religions being questioned.
I could honestly say when I wrote a good bye letter many many years ago I thought it was for the best. I somehow thought you guys would be better off without me.
But you beat me to the punch and left a trace of your spirit with everything you touched.
You not being here today is devastating. You have affected our lives immensely. We...
He left with a portion of my heart. The air I breathe is barely enough to get by. My heart aches. He said he would never leave and now I’m stuck struggling to keep my insanity under control. I am lost. I’m falling and hoping no one is there to catch me.
Ever feel like you are trapped in your own mind and it seems impossible to fight back. It’s not like me to stop fighting. I can honestly say I am ready to hang up my boxing gloves and let my opponent win.
Being a fighter is way too much work. It’s draining every ounce of strength and power I possess. I’ve lost the battle.
Maybe it isn’t about fighting. Maybe it’s about learning to let go of something that I can’t control.
He looked at her and said, “I thought this was what I wanted. But looking at how things are turning out, I really want you in my life.” He fell to his knees hoping Kristina would give him another opportunity to change. She spoke no words and she slowly starting walking away. He screamed, “stop, I need you.” She said, “you don’t need me. You need her. Call her to come pick up where she left off.” Kristina walked out with her head up to sky and wiped her last tear.
Love is a beautiful thing when both people choose to engage.
Lights rose guitar
He played every night at the Drummers boy lounge. Not too many people would show but it was a way to get his name started. He wrote his own music and played the guitar.
He was so frustrated on how love treated him these past couple years. He barely was getting by with what the club was paying him. He pretty much gave up on everything but his music. His music was his way out. He played as if he was playing for thousands in a stadium.
He just wrapped up his session. He was packing up his guitar and ready to head home. He heard this laughter across the room. He couldn’t help but to look across the room. As he looked so did she. They locked eyes. They both exch...