What does it mean to be free?
Is it peace?
What is peace?
Is it when my screams stops?
Why do I scream?
Are they a lash out of my fears or my truth?
What is the truth?
A lifeless life waiting for death, or a dead life waiting for a sign of life?
What is life?
People? Ambitions? Money?
Happiness could bring life to a dead one by admission of
truths that could stop my woeful screams.
Maybe then I could be peaceful.
Maybe then I could be free.
Drowning while waiting isn't a bad thing.
Maybe drowning is the answer to it all.
I'm in love with him in more ways than one.
I'm in love with him in a way that without him my heart beats in harsh thuds, yet it tunes into a harmonious melody when he is close by.
I'm so in love with him that my soul aches and my mind wonders of things I could with him.
I'm so in love with him that my anger flares in ways that scare me.
I'm so in love with his love making,
with the essence of his breath, saliva and skin.
I'm in love with the way his body moves in glorious sync with mine as our love turns into heavenly pleasure.
I'm in love with his tolerant heart even though that tolerance is beginning to wear thin.
He is my disaster.
It's when your thoughts disappear and your heart grows heavy with its deep, thunderous pulses.
It's when you have no feeling of emotion, but your tears slide down the curvature of your face and your voice squeaks and breaks.
Only then do you realise you are just as broken inside.
It's when all you wanna do is bury yourself in darkness.
It's when he doesn't know.
It's when he will never know.
And you wonder how he could have ever loved you.
It's the infactuation of what love should feel like that has me doubting.
It's the memories made in movies that has me forgetting mine.
It's the breathlessness & emotions I experience reading words of a romantic novel that has me wishing I had that life.
It's the adventurous feeling of standing by the door and your hair is swimming around you in the wind on a cold , grey day that makes me wonder...
.. Wonder how hard it is to actually live the dream. To live by the words of novels and scripts written for movies.
Growing up we never truely live . We just keep ourselves occupied and it's hard to change that coz it's a means to survive. I wonder what life would be like if we weren't consum...
I wish u'd save me.
I'm abandoned as i try to fight off the demons.
I wish u'd save me.
My heart or mind not strong enough to handle the burdens as it spills over, burying my soul.
I wish u'd save me.
Never ending challenges.
I have no strength to face them.
My tearful heart.
I'm not a warrior,
I wish U'd save me.
My feet planted to the ground
Life never moving foward
Still stuck in the same shit.
I wish u'd save me.
I'm chained down with no keys to release me.
I wish u'd save me.
I'm choking in smoke,
Fire burning around me.
I wish u'd see me
I wish U'd save me.
I wish u'd save me...
Jacuzzi bubbles slightly warm us after a swim in the pool.
Its warmth is nothing compared to the heat blazing within me as he lingers
his lips over mine for far too long.
The look in his eyes are darker than the grey skies above us,
and in them I see my reflection and his love that is now clouded by lustful cravings.
The sky starts to cry just the way I do inside.
Wishing and begging for his wet lips to press against mine,
and when it does, I feel his yearning and it ignites mine.
The sky is now pouring its blessings upon us
like we are a love that is meant to be.
A love that was meant for him and me.
of dreaming dreams that are beyond my reach.
life is moving so slow.
I crave materialistic bliss
but I'm scared I'll lose myself in it.
I want to travel the world, explore,
see the city lights from my penthouse apartment.
I want it all.
My heart slowly breaks because I don't believe I can do it,
achieve it all.
this dream is impossible.
I always believed that love is more important than money.
I still do, but growing up I have dreams that are becoming quite important to me too and I realise that money makes the world go round.
I'm tired of the struggle that pops up unexpectedly.
I'm tired of admiring and never having.
I'm tired of feeling that I probably wont b...
His bottom lip fits perfectly within my parted lips
as I breathe soft, urgent breaths of utter pleasure into his mouth.
His skillful fingers move in circles in me,
brewing that sweet, sweet torture that causes my back to arch and my toes to curl.
The sweet, sweet torture that is my husband.
One moment His soft, wet lips brush against mine
and the other his tounge evades mine searching and colliding with mine, heating me up.
He got me begging.
oh sweet torture.
Passion is felt all around and I stare into his eyes and I see love and a glimpse of sensual darkness.
This man, I love with all my heart.
I can't get enough.
I'm close, so close
and finally that sweet to...
Staring outside at the world before me in its dimmed afternoon light,
watching the cars in the distance move towards its destinations.
I can't help but wonder if those people are living life freely,
if they are living the life you and I wish to be.
If only our dreams could reflect on our reality.
I wonder if they have traveled the world holding the hands of the one they call their husband or wife
I wonder if they spend each awakening day and every exhausted night in each others' arms.
I wonder if there is pure happiness in their hearts when they are around each other.
I wonder if they are cocooned on a chair on a balcony in the cold night.
I wonder if they are sitting in a cozy r...
I miss him...
Briming the crystal glass with red liquid.
Taking it with me,
I step out into the balcony.
Its 5 in the morning and I'm staring at my glass, watching it glitter in the new born rays of the sun.
I miss him.
He is gone far too long!
I appreciate the coolness of the glass as it touches my lips. The soothing liquid flowing into my mouth .... his tounge invaded me here,
Every morning, every night, almost every moment....
The wine is bitter-sweet and it warms me up inside.
I stare out , looking at the view rememberibg us out here on the balcony, cacooned on a chair as the cold air made us pull each other closer.
Pink , puffed lips
has been owned by his.
His tounge always finding mine,
locked in ecstacy.
oh how i missed him!
How i desired a simple stroke of his thumb agsinst my cheek.
off all saddness and hell bound waiting.
Oh kiss me
Just kiss me!
I've been waiting for you.
So many dreams fill my mind
of you and i
His big innocent eyes staring at us,
His giggle echoing in our hearts
As you and I rock a cradle, singing lullabys.
I remember those days
when i inhaled my shitty life
and exhaled smoke.
those days i hid my tears under a blanket.
those days i fell to the floor wid my face in my hands wondering what the fuck i was doing.
those days i covered my body coz all i pictured was dirty hands running down them.
those days alcohol was used in place of a sleeping pill... slow n uneasy.
those days i craved happiness but only got anger.
those days are gone, they are so far behind me that wen i look back i cant see them anymore.
Do i regret them?
it only made me stronger. :)
sometimes hate them.
Maybe they don't understand
like the way he does.
Maybe his eyes are different,
staring at me like I am the only one in the room, like I have got all his attention.
With him I don't have seek what I desire, I don't have to ramble and rage just to have my point heard. I don't have to fight nor do I av to fear.
He pays attention,
#My bestfriend & Love of my Life#M♥
Spinning round and round ,
my surrounding is blurring. Someone is coming closer after every turn...
Cūatches my hand,
and I come to an abrubt stop.
Dizzyness slowly fading and all I see is him.
Everthing became clearer.
Time has stood still,
My heart still heavy as I try to catch my breath.
Looking at him is all I can do, I've never seen something so beautiful.
His eyes never blinking jus staring into mine and for a moment I saw his soul, so innocent,
filled with so much love.
His eyes showing me the world's beauty I was missing when I was spinning just to forget my past.
Oh in his eyes
I want to see more.
are the beauty of the world,
Of my world.
Oh on this dark night i wish
i was wrapped in ur arms,
like a teddy bear.
As i hear you breathing the lullaby that could heal my insomnia.
I wish i could lay my hand where you heart lies to feel the rhythm that made me swoon.
i wish I could watch you as you lay there fast asleep, knowing that you would love to wake up next to me.
i wish i could steal a few kisses and hear you growl.
Then bury my head by ur neck n fall asleep until the dawn breaks to see your gorgous smile upon my wake.
I dont know why i get mad at you,
Maybe its coz i worry or maybe it coz i care. maybe coz everytime i see u all i think about is the moment we say goodbye, knowing i wouldnt get to see you for a while...
The dark storms left me astray,
You saved me with your guiding light.
Your touch so gentle,
awakened my true self that was lost within me ,
buried underneath others' lust.
oh a slave I had become to those I thought deserved my love.
But now I am a princess in the castle of your heart.
oh the darkness long forgotten,
the pain has disappeared,
oh how do you do this ,
just with a simple glare.
A breathless kiss fills my nights with dreams...
Dreams i know will come true, 'cause I'd be living them with you.
I love him
more than words can describe,
More than all the stars in the sky,
and way more than my heart beats in this lifetime.
Without you life is on hold, never moving foward,
only growing old.
When u're beside me this worthless life begins to have meaning.
With you i see an endless future full of opportunities,
filled with happiness and joyous melody.
I love him , n i know my heart will never let him go, 'cause he is worth loving.
Oh, the sweet words he whispers are the melody of his heart,
So truthful... so bare,
makes me dance on air.
We stride hand in hand, never letting go.
His chest is my abode,
his breath is my intoxication.
His firelit smile fuels my heart with unknown desires.
My reflection redides in his eyes.
And in mine, his handsome face glows.
oh, He rescued me from my fears,
gave me all i needed.
He keeps me completely and utterly happy.
♥ M ♥
Oh her words cut me deep.
She is my mother and i wish i could choose another.
My mind knows its wrong to think these awful thoughts.
My hell-binding intentions are stopped by my emotions.
Oh evil thoughts leave me alone. I want to be in a place where i am not known. i want to be away to suffer endlessly coz thats what my mother told me she wants from me. Be away from my evil heart, run away from myself. Oh dark words , why do you make me weep? if i have not a heart, then why does it hurt. why cant u see the love n pain i have faced. why cant you see how much i hate myself for jus being me and now that I've finally found happiness, u tell me im undeserving. stubborness doesnt allow me to cha...
I Hope that your dreams come true.
I hope for nothing more than me and you.
Laying under star lit skys.
Everything is fading now that you are by my side.
Your chest is my pillow,
in ur arms I cradle.
This safe heaven is now my home.
Your heart is now my own.
When he runs his tounge down my cheek,
we lay awake until the sunlight stings.
I'm in a world where I never weep.
This joy is overwhelming.
He touches my toes and puts on a ring,
something he wanted to do for me.
His every word is my name and in my every heartbeat lies his.
Love like this, I have no experience.
Learning day by day that this how it was supposed to be.
So many promises made by others, yet he fulfills my untold desires.
Maybe in time we will make history.
A tale of you n me....
His heart made of gold,
beside him I will grow old.
Brown eyes lock with mine,
our chemistry will never run out of time.
Keep it coming, baby,
this love of yours is all that I own.
His heavenly smile...
Those lucious lips,
I want to bite.
His sexy voice,
makes me quiver.
Tounge against my neck,
Oh, how do I recover?
Its never enough.
I thank God, in my every prayer, for bringing him in my life.
'Cause I was a sinner
And he was my divine light.
His heart touched my soul
And I fell in love.
His actions whispered his deepest emotions.
And now i understand...
He loves me.
More than I love him?
Never has it been so clear,
that this love has no fear.
Our bond only gets stronger.
It's bright, golden light
sorching my eyes.
Droplets forming on my skin and heavy breaths fill me in.
I have to keep on moving.
Afraid my shadow will fade into the darkness ,
like I faded into evil.
Dear D.D.S/ my only Bababoy
Thought I was strong all alone.
Was good before you came along
and gave me your stength to rely upon.
I was safe, free from fear.
grateful you changed me into the person I longed to be, even though I lost You along the way.