|21. Living in a Minnesota farm town waiting for my adventure. Aspiring writer, fluent in sarcasm. (ig: @janiedeux)|
My heart is heavy
It's as if the weight of all the victims are tugging at my heart.
How can this be human? How can something that vile, and senseless have a beating heart?
In moments like this I feel like resorting to the ways of mourning in the days of old. Wailing, clenching the dirt, crying until my breathing has become haggard.
I want to cry for the ones who went to the City of Love to escape the hatred, they were ambushed by evil, they didn't have a chance...
I just don't understand.
Lives were snuffed. Gone. Forever.
And yet, somehow, humanity overpowers the evil with good. Countless prayers, donations, and volunteers are flooding in to help. I must fix my eyes on this.
She was most at peace
During the dark blissful night
Where the universe lent it's thoughts.
To the ethereal patterns of her mind
Hello Lovely Writers!!
I have some B I G news. (Well it's big to me, ok??) Moving on ;)
This girl officially has an instagram account specifically for her writing!! I know this may not seem like something major. Maybe you yourself already have a writing account. But for me it's different.
For the longest time I've been holding my thoughts and feelings in, I was always the girl with the smile. No one ever knew what was going on behind that smile.
This new account will give me an opportunity to express myself in a new way and I'm so excited to see what will come of it!
Of course I'm using a pseudonym, I think it's much more safe, mysterious, and fun that way ;)
Dear Fellow Writers,
I'm in need of your assistance; I've hit a mental road block and I need you to give me topics to write on!
I'm s t a r v i n g for inspiration.
Shaking she cried
Hugging her chest to her knees
It's all going to be fine.
Sleepless at night
The ocean in her eyes
It's all going to be fine
"Hey how are you"
Do they see behind this mask?
She thinks to herself...
It's all going to be fine
"I'm o k a y."
Don't leave me now.
Little girl with the big smile
And even bigger dreams
Do not leave me to fend for myself
In this dark despairing world
I need your hope
I need your strength
The grip I have on your sense of wonder is slowly slipping
In your eyes there is no darkness
You only see the stars
Stay with me
Stay with me
I plunge into the blue.
My lungs burn with what's left of your air.
I sink deeper into the black.
I look up and see your hand reaching through the sunlit surface;
But I'll never be able to reach it in time.
I'm lost and broken where is this hope that is spoken of so fondly. Let me have oh but a taste. Something to sweeten my tongue if only for only a moment, from the bitterness that life has put me through..
《Heaven Make an Exception》
Heaven make an exception
Is there not enough angels to supply,
What I need for my perception,
To accept she is no longer mine?
She fought bravely;
And all I could do was hold her hand.
So I thought..
If You cared, You could -
and change Your plan.
This cloud's just passing through honey,
Sunshine's on its way;
But until then -
Hold on to me darlin'
My love never grays.
Today I found myself wishing to just resign from life. No, not through death, but I want to quit the menial, robotic society that we live in. It seems like it was just yesterday when I was a little girl, carefree, full of wonder... The world that was set before me wasn't daunting...every obstacle that came across my path was a potential adventure.
But now. Now I've gotten sucked into a "vortex of ordinary." It's not that I'm not happy, it's that I'm..as happy as I can be.
Now I live in a world where I feel it's easier to tell someone that I hate them rather than confess my love. Now I live in a world where my tongue has become raw from all the times it's been bitten wh...
"Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky. "
The verse above is from a hymn my mother would sing from time to time...I've always thought those words were so beautiful, and on days like these, as spring is blossoming, I tend to think on these words more and more. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do 💜
You do not deserve my tears,
Because I do not deserve the pain.
I set myself upon the edge,
Thoughts mirroring the crashing waves,
As each wild tide overtook the last.
Is there a corner of your mind you know not to touch?
Because if you do the tears would never stop?
I just pushed the big red button.
Slaving for words dipped in honey
Men praising all but the Divine.
Pillow drank my midnight tears
Probably tasted like pain
Closed my eyes to escape the fears
But clearer it became.
Hope is a river
Smoothing only the stone pain knows
So why am I with all my edges
Cracked and left alone
If hope is a river
Then drown me,
let me feel it in my lungs.
At the bottom of the waters
Peace has finally come.
Mama always told me
my eyes twinkled like the stars
Who knew I'd grow up
Hiding behind scars
It was dark
It was blank
It was everything and nothing at all
I just couldn't go on.
Then I saw the light
Through the scars
In His hands.
He took me in His arms
Sobs caught in my throat.
How did this happen
When did I go
The damage has been done
Tears poured from my eyes
Because I lost the stars
I lost my twinkling sky
He held me closer
"I made you,
You lost your shine"
"You can't see
What's inside of you
But I see the twinkle,
I see the stars,
I see the galaxy,
Reflecting my heart."...
"I found myself trying to get the first chance to sleep.
Because in sleep, there's no pain.
There's no deadlines.
I found myself dreading the coming day whenever I awoke.
I waited for the sun to go down.
Bceuase as each day passes it's closer for me to as well.
Why find pleasure waking up in a world you could never truly live in?"
That was the entry I made in my journal in November of 2014. I've been down in the dumps for a while now. But I'm DETERMINED to be my happiest self. The world we live in is fueled with greed and hate. I've only seen people get to the top climbing on others. But today, the first day of 2015, I've made up my mind to not jus...