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IRAe

PO# 400557
France
France
Nothing special to say
May 13, 2019
 

Tonight, I was preparing
I was finding the right words, the right gestures
I was rehearsing, to be ready for you, today
Listening to the sad song of  birds, singin with me in the rain

Last night I cried, I laughed, I remembered, I sang
I didn't sleep
Too tired and excited to finally fulfill my imagination,
With you

Today, you aren't here
You left me alone, in this huge little room
Filled with my hopes and fears
And I'm hurt,
All the things I prepared, the words I chose, the gestures I decided to make, are fading away
I will burn them all, with the fire of my dreams, with the pain of my hopes, with the rage of my tears

And I'm tired, tired of waiting, tired of preparing every night for ...

FUTURE
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May 9, 2019
 

Alone,
In this hideous night
Alone.

The shadows of my fears are singing
Singing a terrible song, using my pain as inspiration, using my tears as their melody
It's the same song that you, before, sang to me
It was a love song, now it has started to grieve

Alone,
Trying to find comfort in my demons  
Trying to talk to them, but they can't hear me anymore
They're singing, dancing, forgetting their pain
Alone.

The pieces I've lost by losing you, are dancing in my room
They look at me, with pain and happiness in their eyes
They dance in happiness, they sing in pain
They're happy, now they're free but they're grieving, grieving for me
I'm their prisoner
The prisoner of me

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FOLLOW YOUR HEART
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March 28, 2019
 

I forgot you, everything about you
I forgot your eyes, your smell, your touch
I forgot your voice, your taste, your shadow
Your soul

I forgave you, everything you did and didn't
I forgave you, the pain you left deep inside
I forgave all the tears I shed for you
I forgave you breaking me into pieces
I forgave everything
Your soul

And now?
Where is the time we used to forget things together?
Where is your last hug hiding?
Where are you hiding  my pieces?
Where did you put my shadow?
My lost soul?

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LAST HUG
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January 24, 2019
 

Perdue,
Dans le silence de tes yeux
Dans le bruit de tes soupirs
Perdue,
Dans mes souvenirs
Dans les ombres de ton mémoire
Perdue,
Dans chaque instant de mon passé
Dans chaque espoir de mon demain
Perdue,
Dans la musique de nos corps
Dans la silence de nos baisers
Perdue,
Dans le chagrin de ton manque
Dans le désespoir de mon amour
Perdue,
À tout jamais

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LAST HUG
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October 22, 2018
 

I felt scared
For the first time in my life
I was terrified
The light of the day was killing me
The burning sun was taking away every hope
I was so scared
I couldn't breathe
I couldn't see
I just felt my tears falling, in that cursed, hot day
I felt hopeless, I felt lost
Everything was hard
I shed a sea of tears, the sea that you loved so much
I was lost, lost without you near
I was weak, without your strength
I was alone
And yet you were there

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WHITE CLOCK
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March 14, 2018
 

Dear me,
Here you are again
Alone
You can't cry
And I don't know if this is for
better or worse
But I know that you're trying to be strong,
somehow

I'm proud of you, do you hear me?
Proud!
For everything you did, for everything you will do
I know you're hurt
And it hurts me too
But life without a little pain is nothing,
Embrace it and move on

Everything's getting dark
My thoughts, people, even the sky is getting darker
And now, you should learn to see your path in this never-ending darkness
It will change everything, even your most hidden secret

Dear us,
We're one
Me you, you me, the same us
Yet I can't completely understand yourself
Yet I can't completely understand my fucked up "me ...

LIFE
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March 9, 2018
 

I talked about you today
I told them how we ended things
I didn't cry
My voice didn't shake
My hands were calm

I talked about you today
I needed it
And they listened
To me, to my silences, to my breaths

I talked about you today
Don't worry!
I was fair
I couldn't talk bad about you
Even if I tried

I talked about you today
Finally confessed how much I miss you
They now know how much I loved you
And they saw for how long I will

I talked about you today
And on my way home I almost cried

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PICK UP
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February 26, 2018
 

Loving you
So hard
And I swear,
I tried
I tried really hard

Your lies
Pain
I'm hurt
And I tried

You're cold
You're mad
And I tried
I swear
I tried

You left
And now I cry
I'll try to forget
I'll try with all my heart

Loving you
Now I know
It wasn't that hard
Even when I thought I needed to try
You leaving
Without turning back
Now I know what pain means
And I'm trying so hard
Not to cry

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DOOR OF DREAMS
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February 7, 2018
 

Night
Silence
Moon
Stars
Me
Alone
The grass is tempting
Breaths

Silence
Heartbeats
Breaths
I can hear the rhythm
I can hear the sounds
Far away

Alone
I start to dance
Barefoot
Slowly
A step forward
A jump
I stop,
Catch my breath

I'm tired
From life
From the lies

I forget the silence
Humming a song I once knew
The echo of my breath follows me in the dark
The rhythm changes
Faster, chaotic
And I dance
Freely
In that valley of life
I can't feel my foot
I can't catch my breath
I can't see the moon
I can't remember the regrets, the lies, the pain

Alone
Silence, and a rhythm nobody feels
I dance
My life depends on it

Alone
I can hear the music in the silence
I dance
The rite ...

TRUE WISDOM
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February 6, 2018
 

To hell with your love
I'm stronger than before
I'm forgetting you
Tomorrow I won't even know your name

To hell with your love
I don't need you in my life
I will learn to live in sorrow
Tomorrow I won't even remember your smell

To hell with your love
You hurt me like nobody did before
I won't cry anymore
Tomorrow I won't even hear in my head your voice

To hell with your love
I can live without you
I won't think about you anymore
And tomorrow
Tomorrow you will be forever gone

To hell with your love
My endless, enormous, forgotten love

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CATCH A DREAM
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February 6, 2018
 

In the silent night
I lost myself
Searching for love
Looking for dreams

In the despair of hopes
I couldn't find my lost soul
I can only hear my breath
And the silence of my memories

In this night full of stars
I lost my hopes, my dreams
I wasn't able to find my souls
I lost everything

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THE PASTELS BOOK
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May 20, 2017
 

It's a great time to be alive
The sun is shining  
Me, in your arms
Your smell, your voice

The beauty of love
The beauty of sharing solitude
The beauty of every silence
The beauty of life

It's a great time to be alive
To share my secrets with the wind
Feel the solitude deep inside the sea
Sense the love in a green field  
Hear the song of birds
Singing the himn of life
Dancing barefoot, with you

Celebrating every single day
Hoping love will cross our paths  
Hoping we will live forever
Hoping peace will conquer our world
And love will invade our souls

What a great time to be alive!

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LOVE,PEACE AND UNDERSTANDING
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May 17, 2017
 

Voilà, la vie qui passe
Sans faire de bruit
Voilà, la nuit s'efface
Et le soleil brille

Voilà, tout change
Et moi je reste encore ici

Je te regard, tu t'en vas
Loin, loin de moi

Voilà, les années volent
Volent sans se retourner jamais en arrière
Et moi, je reste immobile
Immobile dans le temps et l'espace

Je regarde le temps passer
En oubliant le bonheur, les sourires
Je regarde le temps passer
En évoquant les remords et les peines

Voilà, je remplace ma vie
Avec des sentiments oubliés
Je remplace mes souvenirs
Avec des mots inutiles
Je remplace tout
Avec le temps qui passe
En restant toujours en place

Voilà, je remplace tout avec ma solitude
Les larmes, les rires d'un autre...

UNIQUE
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May 16, 2017
 

The fear goes away
My realm of delight fades away
Weaker
Yet bold
Still fragile
The fear goes away
My dream grows stronger
Paralysed from the forgotten
Forever searching for an escape
I want to run away
And forget about everything
The fear goes away
And now, I live the same fearless day, perpetually
Till the end of time

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LIFE
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May 14, 2017
 

Write to me
Whenever you feel lonely
And life feels heavy on you
Write to me

Write to me
Everytime the past haunts you
And your memories take away the sleep

Write to me
Everytime I will pass through your mind
Everytime you'll find me in the streets we once walked

Write to me
Whenever you visit our secret love place
Whenever you hear my favourite song

Write to me
Whenever you will need a friend
Or simply someone who knows you, sometimes even better than yourself

Write to me
When you'll need a hug, a kiss, or some lies
When the solitude will hit harder than before
When you will feel the tears subside

Write to me
With your eyes closed
Without thinking about the future
Without thinkin...

WRITE ME SOME LETTRS
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May 13, 2017
 

I will cry
For you, for me, for everyone
Someday
I will cry

I will cry for your tears, your pain
I will do it for your hopes, your dreams
I will cry, I promise
Sooner or later I will

I will cry for hours and hours
Without counting the days
Without searching for an escape

I will cry about the world we live in
I will cry about the hypocrisy we found around us
I will cry about every night I spent dreaming
Dreams of hope, beauty, peace and light

Someday
I promise, I will cry
But now,
Now I simply want to hide

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GOOD HEART
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April 5, 2017
 

Hurt
The time is passing, I don't feel it
Dark
It will soon be morning, I don't feel it
Lost
It's been a while, I don't remember
Silence
I speak with your shadow, I can't remember
Hurt
You're now gone
Dark
I'm hurt
Lost, in the dark
Silence, and it hurts

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RIGHT
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April 1, 2017
 

Here I am
In the middle of nowhere
Alone
The silence embraces me
And I'm not strong enough to make a sound
Suddenly, I can't speak
I want to whisper
But I can't

The silence now speaks for me
And without my words, I'm feeling stronger
I don't need them here in my little world

I won't be weak anymore

In the middle of nowhere
I stay surrounded by crowds
I can't hear their voices,
Even though I see they're screaming
I'm not strong enough to focus and to try
And strangely, I'm feeling stronger, stronger than before

I can't speak, I can't hear
But i can sing, i can hear the silence, my voice, my melodies
I can hear the wind, the trees, the birds

And here, alone, without words and wit...

BE YOURSELF
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March 23, 2017
 

You, a sister, a daughter, sooner than later a mother
His mother, her mother, our mother
You, a woman, full of hopes, full of dreams
You, mother of love, mother of life, mother of everything
A lover, a giver, a thinker,
A gift

(Silence kills more than guns)

And now, you're a sufferer too
A victim, voiceless
Someone who is on mute
You, once a soul
Now, an aching shadow
Later, someone who simply lived a life full of pain

(Silence kills more than guns)

Strong, you accept hate, abuse, violence
But you, you think you're weak

The weak is your husband, your friend, your son, your father, your people
Weak is someone that knows and doesn't speak
Weak is he who remains silent in front of this...

LOVE,PEACE AND UNDERSTANDING
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March 23, 2017
 

I love you
But you're not mine
You belong to someone else
And I, was once yours
Now, I'm someone without a shadow
I'm a shadow without a person
Walking on the streets of regrets

I love you
But you're not mine
The destiny, in this life, is faithless
The past becomes the present
The present remains a memory, dishonestly, spontaneously
The roads resemble to spiderwebs
And we can't escape from them
We're getting closer to our hunter
To become their prey, without knowing

I love you
But you don't belong to me
We aren't walking the same roads anymore
The spiderweb is now without a hunter
And I, the prey of nothing, am still waiting

I love you
But you don't belong to me
You threw away ou...

BEAUTY
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March 22, 2017
 

The voice of silence speaks to me
And the echo screams, far away
The dreams I had before
Are right here, in front of me
I have everything I wanted
And yet, I don't feel happy

The voice of dying trees screams in my ear
The silence is staying silent, to listen
The pain of them is now my pain
The happiness disappeared

The voice of void speaks calmly to me
Remembering me that time passes slowly
And years are flying fast, so fast
Me?
I'm the same
With some more wrinkles on my face

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CHOICES
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March 19, 2017
 

My dearest friend
My only friend
Me
Do you remember the good old days?
The days when everything was bright?
When the morning coffee gave you the strength needed to continue?
When the tears were far away from you?
The days when the pain was some unknown that later would become your best friend?
The days when the sky was grey but you could still feel the sun shining?
Do you remember the days when life was so easy that even you were surprised?
Now everything is gone, everything is changing
Life is harder
The pain is your companion
And the tears your salvation

Now, everything seems far, so far
But me, sitting under the sun
And feeling the sky's dark
Me, finding sorrow in people's eyes
Me, feel...

AIM HIGH
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March 16, 2017
 

Tonight I am a queen
Queen of night
Queen of myself  
Queen of lost memories
Tonight I am the queen of this castle built with hopes
The queen that guards the fortress of solitude
Tonight I am the queen of pain
The queen of misery
The queen of void
The queen that reigns alone
The queen of nothing and vanity
Tonight I am the queen of tears
I reign over obscurity
Tonight I am the queen thirsty to forget
But I reign upon memories rotted by time
I reign upon the ruins destroyed from misery
I reign upon my aches
I reign under the shadow of my dreams
Tonight I am a queen
Queen of perpetual solitude
Queen of never-ending distress
Queen of my own sin

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BALANCE
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March 14, 2017
 

Will you remember me in ten years?
Walking the same streets as we did
Hearing my favourite song
Reading my favourite poetry
Will you remember me?
Hearing my name
Smelling my favourite flower
Finding something that was once mine
Will you remember me?
When you'll be with her
When you'll think about your past
When you'll meet someone I know
Will you remember me?
Or I will be lost in your memories?
Maybe you won't remember my story
Maybe you won't even remember my favourite song, poetry
Maybe you'll forget my name too
But when we'll be face to face
Somewhere, someday
Will you remember me?

LOVE
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March 14, 2017
 

J'étais heureuse
Comme un enfant
Mais le temps passe vite
Et je me retrouve seule
Sans importance
Sans amours
Sans espoir
Sans toi

J'étais heureuse
Et je ne te l'ai jamais dit
J'avais peur
J'en ai toujours
Mais heureuse?
Je ne le suis plus

J'étais heureuse
Dans tes bras
Je me sentais en sécurité avec toi
J'étais heureuse
Vraiment heureuse

Aujourd'hui, non plus
J'ai oublié les sensations
J'ai tout oublié
Je me cache peureuse, dans mon esprit lugubre
Je me repose angoissée, avec des souvenirs ternes
Il y a longtemps, j'ai oublié la félicité

J'étais heureuse
Et j'ai tout perdu
Je ne le serais plus jamais

BE KIND
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March 13, 2017
 

I feel sad, bad, lonley, torn
The truth is, I don't love you anymore
I'm sorry to say it out loud
But I can't hide it
Maybe I was a coward

I can never tell you how sorry I am
I can never tell you how bad I feel
But I can't love you
I cant love you like this

I want to be a wolf
I want to run away
Hide from your eyes
I want to be an eagle to fly to the horizon and more
And be alone till death
That's all I wish for
I don't love you, I can't love you
That's all you need to know

Go away now
I want to be alone
Watch the void you'll eave when you're gone

I want to cry
For a love that is gone
For the love I lost
I know I said I don't love him
The truth is I still do
I love him and I kno...

CREATIVE
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March 12, 2017
 

Today, I didn't leave my bed
I stayed in all day
I wanted to feel the pain of yesterday

I didn't leave my bed
But I visited so many places
Places hidden in my memories
Hidden in my dreams
I listened to so many voices
Voices I had known before
Voices I made for faces I didn't know
Today, I didn't leave my bed
And yet I saw so many faces
Faces from the past
Faces that I didn't remember anymore

Today, I stayed home
With myself
I needed to
I needed to rediscover me
The old me that I had lost somewhere, sometime

Today, I can say that finally I meet me
Yes, me
Without a miror, without a camera
Without listening to my voice

I'm not that innocent
I'm not that good
I'm not that smart
I'v...

KNOWLEDGE
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March 11, 2017
 

Je veux écrire
Infiniment
Écrire de tout et de rien
Écrire de toi, de moi
De la vie, de l'espoir
Écrire de l'orage
Raconter des histoires

Je veux écrire
Jusqu'au dernier souffle
Je veux écrire !
Aidez-moi, je vous en supplie
Aidez-moi d'écrire la vie
Aidez-moi d'écrire
Aidez-moi
Aidez-moi, je vous implore
Aidez-moi

Je veux me perdre dans des mots sans sens
Me cacher dans des raisonnement sans fin
Je souhaite me promener dans des sentiments perdus
Découvrir enfin la preuve des sensations des mots

Je veux écrire et chanter chaque parole
Je veux goûter chaque son
Je veux le faire jusqu'à ma mort
Chanter
Parler
Écrire
Danser
Avec mes petits mots

TRUE WISDOM
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March 10, 2017
 

How many letters I've written
I can't  count
I won't  read
I don't remember

How many letters
Letters I wanted to send
I never did
I never will

Countless letters
In every corner of the room
How many letters I've written
Never wanting to send
Writing down every little piece of my heart
Every tiny piece of myself
Me

How many letters
I can't tell
How many letters
I want to share
I will never dare

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THE PATH
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March 9, 2017
 

I wake up every morning
In an empty bed
An empty room
An empty home
I wake up every day
With an empty heart filled with love

I wake up every morning
The way that I want
No-one is missing
It's only me, alone
I wake up every morning
Just like I want to
Free from everyone
Free from the hatred
The pain is gone

I wake up every morning
Full of love, full of hopes

I wake up every morning
Without you
Just like I chose to do

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OWL
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