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February 17, 2020
 

"Spending time with the poor and lowly in spirit will enrich one more than one could think."

-Ali Koushan

BECAUSE I CAN
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February 17, 2020
United Kingdom

I would have went away if you just asked me to
You didn't have to achieve that by being cruel
I know better than to push when I'm not wanted
Learned that from memories to which I'm haunted

But this time I thought I would belong
It doesn't surprise me that I was wrong
Now deep in my muscles and bones I do ache
From carrying the weight of all my mistakes

I wish I could sleep until I finally die
So I don't have to feel my numb soul inside
I know this seems like an overreaction
To the fact I am no longer in fashion

But if you add up my life you would feel
This final event was anything but trivial
I had worked on accepting I would be ignored
Then you showed up, knocking on my door

You told me ...

CHIRAYU 4
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February 16, 2020
 

The Character Of The Weary

"At times the grief that I am responsible for instilling into those most dearest to me seems as though it can only be forgiven by their pity at my own death."

-Ali Koushan

FREE BIRD
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February 16, 2020
 

Smile,

Just found out that it was Charles Chaplin's mum that had mental health problems. By it self it isn't an amazing fact, but coupled with the song "Smile".....well listen to the words. It makes sense now.

One little bit of knowledge can transform a songs meaning.

"The drugs don't work" by the Verve was linked to the lead singers dads early death and his wifes ordeal with cancer.

Two amazing songs, but only when you know the history.

SIMPLICITY DAY
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February 16, 2020
 

I feel terrible
Shrieking with guilt
Peccancy clawing in
Filled with abomination

All i did was
Slap the truth to face
No frippery
No knick knacks

Despite the good
The best intentions
Why do i feel selfish ?
Like a repenting sinner

Why can i not
Let him bruise a bit
Even if it is right
And for better good.

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 2020
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February 13, 2020
 

Y pensar que me ha roto el corazón  con cuantas pudo, me ha destrozado el alma con sus gritos y enojos, ha fundido mi mente con sus juegos tontos, causando el más profundo daño psicológico;  donde un día decía quererme y al otro... era menos que su capricho de momento.

Y ahora que me he marchado de ahí, yo soy la mala, yo soy la egoísta que le causa dolor.
No sé como no ha podido ver...como él mismo fue apagando todo con cada indecisión y golpe de dolor.
Mientras yo solo  mendigaba un poco de su amor.
¿Injusto? Si! Lo sé.

Y seguirá siéndolo hasta que un día vea como pisoteo cada pedazo de quien lo amó.

Y quizá ni lo haga o quizá sí ... y ni le importe,  porque siempre tendrá una excusa...

INTO THE UNIVERSE
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February 12, 2020
Chula Vista, United States

Sometimes the flairs are so bad that I shut down all the way.

I know it’s foolish to feel like no one understands me. It’s cliche, at best. But my heart is sinking further into my stomach, and people’s advice is absolutely terrible.

I’m sorry no one loves me. I’m sorry no one loves me. I’m sorry no one loves me.

What does depression feel like? I get little glimpse. I’m lucky that we aren’t that close. Depression and I have a casual relationship. He slides in every now and then, and may stay a night or two or three.

I have so much sadness in my soul that it feels like an overflow. It pours out at every turn. I am not who I’m supposed to be... I’m something so much less. And I can’t fix...

NOBODY IS PERFECT
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February 12, 2020
 

It hurts so bad!

I've had a broken heart,
Hit by a bus and a cart!

Deep wounds, Broken bones,
Even an injury related to a mobile phone.

Spinal injuries a cracked shoulder,
So much aches in my life as I get older.

But my god paper cuts and stubbed toes causes such pain,

How can this come from a piece of paper and the humble door frame.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 2020
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ma
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February 12, 2020
 

I have a bad habit of developing
bad habits.

Like kissing the sad boy with pretty blue eyes,
or lighting a cigarette in the bathroom at work,
or visiting my good friend Mr. Daniels
one too many times in the middle of the night.

I am addicted to developing addictions.

I am addicted to the little scarlet tears
dripping down my leg;
I am addicted to shutting people out of my mind,
but letting them into my body;
I am addicted to the numbness that comes at 4 a.m.
when I realize how many days
I have been empty.

POETRY BOOKS
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February 12, 2020
Mumbai, India

And that's just it
You give yourself away so easily
You pick at the thorns instead of the petals
And then ask yourself why you bleed

- Dhari

NAJWA ZEBIAN
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February 12, 2020
 

I feel like there is a force that is trying to take me out
Am I going the wrong route
Taking things into my own hands
Like the man above won't provide life's demands
Today was a very sad day for me
I had to put my 8 month old puppy to sleep
I sit and wonder if that decision was right
Was he suffering too much
Or would he have recovered the very next night
As his last breaths were taken
I wonder if I made a terrible mistake
Mischief was once a bright light in my often dark world
Now memories of him all in my head
Thoughts of what if, should of, would of, could of
My heart yearns for the things he used to do that got on my nerves
What I would do to have him jumping all over my head
Excited, ...

FEEL IT WRITE IT
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February 11, 2020
 

She came
She created and inspired
And she left.
But it was hard
And she didn't want to leave.

I was crying and then I woke up
And my eyes were dry
And they didn't stay dry.

What will she do now?
She'll probably paint endless stars into an endless galaxy.

I can't help but feel sad
I feel that if I think on it
Tears will start to flow
And I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop them.

People cried for you
A bunch of people cried for you
An absolute fuck ton, thousands!
Did you know?
Please
Tell me you knew

My favourite artist died yesterday.
Did you know?

Your stars will always illuminate our dreams

Dearest
Sweetest
Qinni
we will love you always

CHIRAYU
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February 11, 2020
 

May 11, 1944

"I must work, so as to not be a fool, to get on, to become a journalist, because that's what I want! I know that I can write , a couple of my stories are good, my descriptions of the "Secret Annexe" are humourous, theres alot in my diary that speaks, but- whether I have real talent remains to be seen, I can shake off everything if I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn. But, and that is the great question, will I ever be able to write anything great."

-Anne Frank

WISE
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February 11, 2020
 

It hurts do bad!

I've had a broken heart,
Hit by a bus and a cart!

Deep wounds, Broken bones,
Even an injury related to a mobile phone.

Spinal injuries a cracked shoulder,
So much aches in my life as I get older.

But my god paper cuts and stubbed toes causes such pain,

How can this come from a piece of paper and the humble door frame.

ORIGINAL
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ma
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February 11, 2020
Jemison, United States

Hello,
Can I write you a letter?
Is it OK to tell you how I feel? Will it be OK to express the love I have for you on paper with my pen? For if I were to draw it, it would be an explosion of bright neon colors, bleeding into one another, forming never before seen colors and shapes; inviting the mind to be more curious. Enticing our fingers to wander, and want to feel the new shapes and patterns we’ve created.
It would be safer to write, because then I can think of the right words to put down. I could merge letters to form words to tell you how your smile makes my heart blush. Or how your anticipated touch makes my body shift. How my lips savor your taste, and my fingers crave feeling your sk...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 2020
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February 11, 2020
 

Dear reader,

I can't remember the last time I wrote a happy letter. It has been quite some time now. I really hope that changes. It won't be that soon though, but it will. I need to stop feeling these razors cutting in zig-zag under my skin.

What about you, reader? How have you been? Hope to hear from you.

As always,

Success and Love

MARTHA LUCIA
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February 10, 2020
Wagener, United States

Dear reader,
   I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety lately. I’m trying to stay strong for my friends, I’m honestly not sure how, but I am.
   I’ve been clean of self harm for almost a year, and I’m struggling, I don’t WANT to self harm, but sometimes I just want to feel something. I’ve taking up to having a rubber band on my wrist at all times so I can use it to distract myself.
   I’m sorry for being so needy and writing this, it’s just I need someplace to vent.

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INKTOBER: VIPASHA
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February 10, 2020
 

He runs but he can’t hide..
No one goes through life with a free ride.
We all pay the piper for our
Selfish acts
While a jury of angels sorts
Out the facts.
Waking at night he feels a chill
At what it will cost for his little thrill.
Three pence says the judge
And four more when you die,
One for each woman who
Believed your lie.
Skin and bones, a pile of flesh
You will regret the wretched mess you left behind.
You were not a good man..
Just mean, vain and unkind.
Pay the piper soon old man..
Before it is too late.
It’s Karma...it’s Fate.

MIcklav4

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ELF
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February 9, 2020
 

Doors, doors, so many doors that want to open
And I just don't want to open them because I know, inside of each one, I'm broken
But these doors don't give up on opening up
And I keep on pushing them shut
Because how can I open so many doors, knowing what's behind each?
Each door holds another broken part of me that will suck me like a leech
If opened too much, my broken heart will tear
And who am I without a heart; I need this to be there
I need to have a heart within me because I need to survive
Not just to live, but also to be alive
Each door is closed now because each one contains a broken piece of me
And I don't want to break myself anymore than that; by opening those doors, I'm letting t...

FEARLESS
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February 8, 2020
 

Chicago, Illinois
10:55 pm

Its that type of cry where you bite your lips to not sob.
The tense of your shoulders to control your breathing.
When you close your eyes as the tears fall down.
Its the holding your breath so you dont make a sound.
The hand over your mouth, in the shower, hoping the water covers the sound.
Its the feeling of despair and hurt, and sometimes you feel so numb yet you hurt so bad.
Its the physical pain of your heart hurting and then at the very end you smile a little because you remember that one good memory.
Maybe its the name they called you and you can hear it perfectly then you just break again.
Thats the worse type of crying because if youre doing that it me...

STARS CAN'T SHINE WITHOUT DARKNESS
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