He wanted nothing more than her love. To just hold her and love her...
Unfortunately for him, he simply can't hold too tight. Blown up can result in deflation if things get too rough. She doesn't come with a warranty!
" Well Shit " he grumbled frustratingly
I'm sorry if I get a little annoying when I send you a bunch of things. I just send you things that I think might make you laugh. You laughing makes being annoying a little worth it.
He wanted nothing more than her love. To just hold her and love her.
Unfortunately for him he was an electric eel and she wasn't. For her their embraces were shocking.⚡⚡⚡💏
"The end was near. Everyone knew. But it wasn't easily discussed. As he was laying in bed, everyone silently stood around...."
Wondering why the doctor was sleeping in his clinic bed even though it was already time for him to get back to duty after his power nap and who was going to wake the angry doctor up!
Words are what they are,
What you make of them,
Perception maybe a done hazard
Or a goblet of cayn purple flame,
Scarring inside ,
Breathing thin from the viscous air,
Reality hits hard for the harsh is yet to come
The life of Fables feels a bit too surreal,
The way it pours down on the bounds about to be loosen,
And when it flows to the ropes,
Ashes fell into oceans
These waters always complained of her blues,
My ashes too dark she holds in her creaks her burrows,
Ones whose counts reminds her ,
Of the times she has suffered vain,
Or the sounds of shovel been raised,
To make another dent to bury the sins.....
Free Sex with Fill-up
A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a local "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, if he guessed correctly, he would get his Free sex.
The buyer then guessed 8, the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up, again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed this time, again the proprietor s...
He was ready for action. He had spied that house for days. Now is perfect time. He put the mask on.
The Pervy Panties Collector is N O W in action.
Marijuana Chronicles #134
So her good friend “baked” some snickerdoodles to have for chronic pain and let’s face it to get high. She gave her a few to give to her son who suffered from PTSD. On the drive home she got pulled over by the highway patrolman and when he approached to get her drivers license and registration he admired those cookies sitting in the top of my friends bag and he told my friend how snickerdoodles were his favorite cookie and he had not had any since his moms passing 6 months prior. So being the Good Samaritan my friend is offered this fine officer one of her cookies forgetting that it contained THC and copious amounts. The officer kindly declined and that was the da...
"Sometimes life fucks you so hard that you feel no pleasure, but the pain!"
It’s called karma and it’s pronounced “haha f*ck you”
Light travels faster than sound,
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Twin sisters at a nursing home were turning one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins.
One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear very well. Once the photographer arrived, he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.
The near-deaf sister said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other one.
"Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE."
So they wiggled up close to each other.
"Just hold on for a bit longer; I've got to focus a little," said the...
Roger Daltry took command of the plane. But he also took a bunch of drugs right before take off.
Roger had been a pilot of a big pink (or so he thought) 737 for TWA, then later Delta, but he always kept his thoughts focused on a manta that guided him throughout his professional career: "let's do a bunch of drugs right before take off." He did this with such ease, that captain Roger Daltry would frequently fall asleep at the adjoining bar near the gate.
Most of his drug intake was done in a secluded employee bathroom with only one stall. Once he assumed a huddled position near the commode, he would light up an old crack pipe that his father gave him on how thirteenth Birthday. Then, in...
If I started a company called VOID, do you think we'd get many checks?
Once upon a time there were five guys in a pizza parlor.
Excuse me while I retire to the John....
I shouldn't have....
I shouldn't have looked,
You look more graceful than you used to,
Somehow your hairs have curled in just the perfect way,
You look more beautiful, more cheery, more happening.....
I guess I did love you at some part of my life,
N you still have some part of me with you,
I wonder where did you lose it,
Or if kept, how far is it from your heart......
Tie a thread on my ring when we meet,
I wanna show the stars n seas,
the girl I tell them about all the time?