Life was painted in white and black
Colours covered the whites
Dark, kept its promise
Sometimes I let myself drown
By falling back into old patterns and self destructive habits
I’m a fire sign and my emotions can be hard to control at times
And I can let my anger consume me
But if this year has taught me anything,
It’s that I have to keep my emotions in check
And in doing that I can be the example to others I want to be
I care about people more than most of them even realize,
But I’ve been pushed too far & it’s made it hard for me to open up to people.
I don’t trust easily these days, and if I do it really has to be earned.
And I think I’m starting to be okay with not always being liked & with often times being misunderstood.
Not everyone deserves to know the rea...
Geez. Its always going back and forth to the akwardness. To the doubts. To the over thinking and over analysing. Its killing the mood. Killing it all. i am trying to give this all i got... I know my heart feels guarded, yet I feel comfortable to let him hold it. But he doesn't want my heart. He wants the sex, i guess with love you got to have the sexual experience or else you got what i got. An akward experience. Oh my god. It's so mind blowing. I don't understand it. I never been through any thing like before, I never been in these shoes. I love everything about this man. His demanor, character, his flaws, his morals, listening to stories of past moments he shares with me....he is someone i ...
__collab with zacho
Tut kar koi mushkara de
Ushe koi kese hara de
Samet Lu APNI baahon me
Us toote huye ko Phir insaan Bana du....
Fir ushe pyar par yakin dilwa du
Aapne gunhao ko dhoo du
Uske zehen ka Har Katra Nichod Lun
Beintihan Pyaar karun....
Tere sath jeene ki har kasam Khau
Kadam se kadam mila kr chalu
Labon ko chhu ke labon se
Aaj main teri rooh me utar jaun....
Teri har saas mehsus karu
Teri har dhadkan sunu
Mere sarir se teri khushboo
Aur Tere sarir par mere nishan....
Aaj ki raat do jishm
Ek jaan ban kar rahe
Kal ki subha aakhri subha hogi sath
Suraj ke dhalte hi
Iish pyar me duriya aa jayegi...
Aaj bhi muskurat h labo par
Aaj bhi teri khushboo h sarir par
Aaj bhi naam ...
Morning sunshine is here
With sun rays coming through the window
And she is sitting thinking about the life she want
As she knows, she is creative soul
With the stamina to do hard work
But when she puts down her thoughts
In her brown velvet vintage journal
She cries and feel the pain that she have
From the past years but no one to hear
Or understand her. She is alone with her demons
And bearing it all with great courage. Her Mother,
Father & Sister tries to change her mind but she is determined
To be the One Girl from Her City To Be That Beauty Business Babe
We shall start this with a song
"Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are"
I can't sleep. Where am I? Where should I be? Drowned in my bed, and be drowned up in my thoughts, while being in heaven where dreams make me feel safe.
Explore, find out, reach out, understand.
Hide, feel down, explode or stay silent.
Oh this scilence, this war within.
Love, battle, who we supposed to be.
Am I drowning in order to learn and grow? Am I drowning to get lost?
My soul opens up, eyes get closed
Mind gets jealous of a soul and seeks the attention.
Croatia 3.27 am
I guess laying while listening to some music might put me up to sleep.
Twinkle twinkle littl...
Las personas que nos hacen sentir, nos asustan.
Nos asusta sentir demasiado por ellas y no ser correspondidos.
Nos asusta que no quieran quedarse.
Nos asusta entregarnos a ellas y regresar incompletos.
Porque cuando uno siente de verdad, tiene miedo a perder y perderse.
What is a lie? My mom once told me: "There a white lies and black lies"
What she meant by that is that sometimes we need to lie in order to save someone we love or in order to escape something, those are the white lies. It is difficult however to tell them apart from the black ones, because the only thing that makes them different are our motives and they often are not that pure at all...
I had some strange thoughts in my head the past few days. I am thinking about someone and had a dream about this person last night. It is tough when you are not able to speak about how you feel. Unspoken things usually become a burden you take with you. It bothers me that I hide the fact that I ...
That the mind put me all the limits that it wants.
I dont care,
because with my actions
I will show who is in charge.
If human emotions and expressions were listed on market,
I would have bought a lot of "smiles".
They solve more problems than expected.
A que las cosas salgan mal, a que salgan bien.
Tengo miedo de confiar,
Pero aún con miedo, me arriesgo, me lanzo,
dejo que las cosas fluyan sin pensarlas tanto.
Aún con miedo,
Tú... Cascada de oníricas imágenes en mi mente, esencia de lo imposible, protagonista de mi soñar... Mi realidad añora la ambrosía que tus curvaturas guardan, tus caderas al caminar son el repetitivo deja vú de mis anhelos. Gobernante, sin saberlo, de mi pecho sus lares; uno que reboza de sentimiento hacia ésa tu belleza integral. Por las noches a Morfeo solicito su venia para desechar el fútil soñar y así junto a tu lecho yacer, besar tu frente mientras tu reposo cuido; mientras añoro estar en tu soñar, y en tu realidad un infinito más...
Inexplicablemente se sostiene en pie, un gélido vendaval asolaba su armazón, le congelaba ante el tiempo y la razón. Con cruel potestad le mantiene ahí el desdén quizá, mas se intuye que podría ser él mismo su verdugo: quien acepta mantenerse ahí, de pie ante el oprobio, impávido ante el constante caer de sus pedazos.
My eyes are closed at this very moment and I am thinking about the limits that I have set for myself.
But the question really is how far do I want to go?
Things are really up to us as individuals to complete the purpose of life that has been given to each and every one of us.
I don't have to make it so hard because its so easy. Where do we all see ourselves is basically in the mind.
Never really thought about it like this before. With all the eyes closed, it is easy to think and ponder on what really matters to us all.
Are we waiting for the response of someone else to tell us its okay to move forward. I hope not!!!
It's really all up to us to move forward and make a change and a dif...
Feelings of doubt
This stamp here is comforting
Holding in anger, need to release my fury, my rage.
Dont know how to fill out this paperwork for custody
Don't have a job, no income coming
To show I'm able to
Missing my daughter, wishing I could see my mini me
Wondering how she is doing
Trying to remain stable
I'm losing my mind
What ifs cloud my mind, the worse may happen and my nightmare
Will turn into reality, not having her
Is such heartache I don't think I want to handle it or even know how
I keep telling myself that i have been through so much already that i can handle this ache, this pain that is stabbing me deep into the heart
What will happen, nobody knows.
As I sit here saying a prayer for you,the song “God only knows”playing in the background. I know that you don’t believe and it’s ok,but I do. I once said I wouldn’t give up on you and I know I got hurt with you and I did. I’m sorry. Please know that I don’t have to be there with you,beside you to not give up on you. I keep you in my prayers. That God smooths the raging sea inside of your heart and your soul. That he would give you peace in your mind that surpasses all understanding. They say forgiving is a supernatural act.That it’s not within us to be able to do so.I’m trying to forgive you for the things you have done and said to me and my family. I know you have been hurt and abandon...
A letter to L,
I honestly don't know how to start this. But I know that I need to let my feelings out. Writing this letter isn't easy. I don't know what to say. I know that I really like you. I know that I want to spend time with you outside of the place we meet. I don't know how things could go. I know this letter has been cryptic thus far. I'm just scared... I'm scared of taking a leap and falling. I'm scared that whatever chance I have or had is gone or slipping away. Or maybe it wasn't there in the first place. Stupid right? You said to me that you don't know what could make me like you in this way. Being around you makes me happy. While we haven't known each other long I still feel comf...
I’m not fighting you anymore. You have made me into something I never was. I allowed you. In falling for you I lost myself. You want to be loved and to be held yet you kept me at
A distance. You love her you even have poems to her on here. Understand and except it was NEVER me. I was a place holder,a moment,a maybe...I never was a yes.
And as u have said on here,me your diva you professed your undying love but all along it was to her. I’m tired Mr.J fighting you. Defending myself against your constant attacks on social media.your right I dnt matter.not to you at least. Your never gonna give up or let me go for reasons only you know. But I’m not doing it anymore. I can’t keep try...
Anxious at first. Excitement
Something new. You're interesting
A new beginning. We took a chance on one another to see where we would be.
Expectations were made.
Impressions last forever.
Feelings shifting, spiriling into the depths of our insides. Who knew that we'd be daring to dive into the deep end. Hoping not to drown. Worried about the risk of fragile hearts breaking. Feelings are mutual.
Does sex and love really go hand in hans? We claim that love is in our hearts, this I believe to be real
No games. No bad intentions. Wanting happiness for each other. Yet we lay naked, showing all our vulnerable parts. No judgments are clouding our opinions. We over think, worried to lose one another...