Back in those cantonment days -
When all those footwear would line themselves up on the make do wooden stand,
I'd pick those long huge boots out,
And try to fit my feet into them.
The fit would evidently be out of place
I'd convince myself though, and keep dragging those huge boots along,
Half believing them to be just right for me - and me for them,
Half wanting to be worthy enough someday to put those on.
Times changed, and I outgrew the person -
I outgrew his shirts which no longer fit,
I outgrew his suggestions which no longer agree -
So I tried his boots on again,
And yet, for some reason, I couldn't outgrow them.
I still can't fill his shoes.
Love sometimes feels like insufficiency.
For years I always thought it was always equal opportunities for women.
I always thought men and women and non-binary respect each other equally.
That there was no such thing as sexism, sexual assault, or even toxic power.
In the world that I believed was beautiful, everyone was happy and loved one another.
In the world I thought was beautiful, I found out that women still suffer through violence and toxic masculinity.
In the world I thought was beautiful, tried to beat a pair of women just because they didn’t recognize the guy they attended high school with.
I called the girls ‘rude’ for not waving back.
I got called idiot, moron, and worst of all “the reason this earth is awfu...
Zindgi ka sach...
Jub Humare pas kuch khone ko nahi hota.....
Tab humare paas paane ko poora Jahaan hota hai 😊
If you're falling out of "love",
Then stop saying that "what you have for that someone is love" and "love is a choice".
Coz if you do, that person will always been chosen despite of everything.
That love will always stand out regardless of the obstacles.
That love will always win over such arguments.
That Rose 🌹 .
You looked at me while I was adoring that rose,
To give me a smile you chose to pluck that rose.
I was in my own world didn't saw you moving towards that rose.
Thud! Ah!! That sound I heard and I screamed as you were not their near to that rose.
Everyone rushed as noone had ever thought that you will fall in that well
which was hided wth a sheet in front of that rose .
Yes he was drowning just for a smile , for me and for that Rose.
Someone from crowd was braveheart who jumped in a well with a bucket & rope without a second thought .
Few minutes later he gave little push to rope string ,
other's quickly pulled that bucket and of course it was him .
He got some bruis...
I woke today with this headache. You know the one that squeezes the bottom of your skull. My muscles in my neck feel so tight it is tender to touch. Did I sleep much, probably not but I open my eyes. I am alive. I can do this.
I am feeling, breathing, moving. The rain has stopped, the sun is shining, the birds are singing. My mini chihuahua, Choco, yawns as he stretches up to my chest to search for me to pet him. He yawns in my face, Yep, It's time to get up.
I can do this.
The kitchen fan is blowing, it is loud. I can still hear the morning noises so clearly. I put my coffee in the straining cloth pouch and put a pan to boil water. I sit at the kitchen table, I begin to smoke my...
Afraid and scared of my own thoughts and how they're slowly consuming me.
They continue to feed and feed till all that is left are the bones and fears of thee.
How my hand so desperately wanting to reach out but gets pulled back into despair and insanity.
and how my heart aches whenever I give a smile to another but breaks immediately when they leave.
How I want to help you,how I want to please you,and how I want to hold you close and tell you that everything will be alright.
but how do I do those things with the upmost sincerity when my thoughts and feelings keep deceiving me?
It's probably time for me to let go
Because I can't help you due to my own fear of hurting you,of hurting oth...
Will you make me stay?
It was just this one usual Tuesday noon when I was sitting in my bed sipping tea when my phone beeped. It was a text message. A text message from someone who used to be so special, is still special. It read, "Hey, I'm in your city."
And there was a sudden rush of emotions within me, countless nameless feelings I felt. Happy, sad, nervous, anxious, confused, teary, mad etc etc all at the same time. After all these days what did he meant when he said this?
I remember how many moments I had to let go off my desire to call you because I missed hearing from you because I was embarrassed. I still remember the amount of courage I had to put in to call you and stupid and...
This wall I thought was build to last
never truly knows it will shatter
I'm under a spell
I'm caught and cannot escape
In one way or another
to self destruct
and to disappoint another soul
Please release this uncanny emotion
if you're not here to stay
I do not know if I could still rely
if up to this moment,
I am the one who only plays
and your just at bay
like a predator waiting for a prey
I'm not up to this and I hate myself
for letting my self to enter this wholly madness
It hurts when they make you feel so special and suddenly nothing.
I just wanna ask them why? Because if it's not real then don't, I mean
come on it's not hard to be real.
It feels like I've been run over horses and right when I think I have the strength to move a muscle I get run over by bulls and when I curse for being beat up in this dirt I find myself drowning in the deepest part of the ocean surrounded by sea monsters with familiar faces.
डरपोक है दिल
ऐसा नहीं की मोहबत
की तमना नही
टूटे दिल के
बिखर जाने का डर है.
अभ इस कमजोर दिल में
इतनी ताक़त कहाँ की
एक और बेवफाई सह सके
कहते है सब
ज़िन्दगी अकेले भी
उन्हें कौन समझाएं
ज़ख्मों के भरनो की उम्मीद भी नहीं
When you speak so sweetly of her..
Being "unconditionally hers" burns me in ways I cannot understand.
That was your past, yes, and I am your current, but yet she's still in your bubble because "you can't let go" and she holds onto you because you can't let go...
Best friends she's been labled.
But knowing the "unconditional love" and the "I'll drop everything for her" and "i would risk it all for her" burns my womanly mind and soul and wish... just wish and hope... you could ever love me like that,
That I would one day take that place.
Not because of jealousy but because I love YOU like that and wish I'd be your one and only.. like THAT.
Seems no one will, could, coul...
I was at the office today... I wanted to gather my things and leave, I opened my bag and I Felt something tucked in there, thats when I remembered, that the letter you gave me when we last saw eachother was there.. Never left my bag since the night you gave it to me. I froze for a moment, not knowing what to feel and after a while I gathered my thoughts and left.
I reached home, sat down and I was staring at my bag. As if it was pandora's box, I reached to grab it knowing that my heart will race. I opened the inner bocket I kept your letter in, knowing that the shell that I've been trying to build for months now to protect us will fall apart, and then...
Your perfume was s...
Let me stop thinking of YOU .
Let me stop listening your voice when YOU are not around
Let me not sleep ever to avoid YOU coming in my dreams
Let me stop remembering YOU embracing me with a smile.
Let me stop breathing to get rid of feeling which I am going through ...
When someone asked Me
🌼HOW TO FORGET YOU❤
Life is all about forget and forgive.
Life is all about wiping someone's tear and gift them a genuine smile.
Life is all about to be happy with the one's we Love
Life is all about to stand for yourself .
Life is all about to move on not just stuck.
Life is all about PRESENT not just about future.
Life is all about acceptance of YOU the way you are.
कोई रिश्ता नही था हमारे दरमियाँ
ना कभी रूबरू हुए थे हम ।
मगर न जाने कैसे
एक दूसरे की खामोशी को भी
पढ़ लेते थे हम ।
शायद किस्से कहानियों में
बसर करते है किरदार कुछ ऐसे,
जो जीते है ताउम्र रह कर अजनबी से।।
वो मशगूल हो कितना भी अपनो में रहकर भी
वक़्त ही वक़्त होता था तब
करते थे बातें जब हम अपनी ।।
पल में रास्ते अलग हुए ये जानते हुए भी कि
साथ होकर भी हमेशा
अलग रास्तो पर ही तो चल रहे थे हम ।।
दर्द ना उसने और ना मैंने बयाँ किया उसको
बस खबर उसने मेरी तो मैंने उसकी फिर भी है रखी
शायद हर रिश्ते का कोई नाम हो ये जरूरी तो नही
पर हाँ कही एक दोस्त खोया है उसने भी और मैंने भी ।।।
My heart is so heavy with so many words until I can’t express them to you.
I need to get them out on paper but where do it all began.